9:19 p.m. I'm officially not watching "Superstars of Dance"

Look, I tried. I really did. 'Cause the clips made the Chinese team look pretty damn awesome. But there's only so much crap I'll sit through, and, apparently, it's about 19 minutes worth.

OK, it opened with the Irish team who pretty much admitted in the opening narration that they were some company of "Lord of the Dance" (and Michael Flatley is hosting -- hmmm, wonder how they ever managed to sign him) and then performed a number that looked, well, awfully familiar.

Fine, though, I gave it a shot. I watched the team of international judges give the touring company of "Lord of the Dance" 9's and 10's -- even though the audience had been cheering and clapping so loud I couldn't really hear their taps (and those I heard seemed like they were pre-recorded, but I couldn't swear to it) and stayed around for the American solo performer....

...who was some dude who performed "popping." Now, I don't want to be all "get off my lawn, damn kids" about this (and really, seeing as popping was big back when I was a teenager, I really don't think I'm being an old fart here), but we couldn't do better than this? Seriously? I'm not saying the guy doesn't have a certain amount of skill at what he does, but is he genuinely the best solo dancer America managed to field? Didn't have enough money for Savion Glover? Couldn't scare up Charlotte D'Amboise? Grab a Tony winner someplace? Anyone who is actually, y'know, selling tickets based on their dance ability? Anyone for whom "dance" actually involves moving their feet? No?

And yet, I still watch. I regain a little amount of faith in the show when the judges score the dude with 7's and 8's.

What actually made me turn off the television was the solo dancer from Argentina. Who may have actually been good -- at least, in the second part of her dance, when she stopped rolling around on the floor and actually started moving. Couldn't really tell, though, because the camerawork did not show us anything below her hips. Seriously. The camera was focussed so strongly on her upper body, I could tell you that she was wearing a black lacy bra that peeped out under her dress when she lifted her arms. And her body was certainly, y'know, moving, based on the fringes of her dress taking flight. But NBC didn't think it was necessary to show me what her legs and feet were doing. In a dance competition.

I've clicked over to the (seemingly endless) House marathon on USA. And you know your new program has to be crappy when I'd rather watch a re-run I just saw last week.