Live Blogging Halloween

If I had a twitter feed, it would look like this....

4:30 -- Reset the lights on my garage to go on at 6:00 rather than 7:00. The damn settings on the timer are anything but user-friendly, and it involved reprogramming it fully from the start. Can’t wait till 6:00 to see if I got it right.

5:00 -- Setting out costume so I’ll be able to change into it as soon as I’m done with trick-or-treaters and head to my friend’s party.

5:15 -- Looking for nail polish to go with my costume, I spot the, er, “facial depilatory.” Realize I meant to use that this morning. Wonder how scary it would be if I answered the door with white cream on my upper lip. Give it a go, hoping that no kids come before 5:30.

5:25 -- Whew. No kids. Although I may be having an unfortunate reaction to the depilatory. Lovely. Red marks all over my upper lip. THAT’s attractive. It’ll look great at the party tonight. If I were going as a zombie. Which I’m not.

5:30 -- No kids.

5:55 -- Still no kids. I may be consuming a lot of “fun size” candies this week.

6:00 -- Garage lights on! Victory!!

6:32 -- No kids at all. Not even the little boy from across the street. If he comes, he’ll probably got a whole handful of candy.

6:37 -- Turned on porch light. Checked from window to see if it screwed up the look of the spooky things in the windows -- porch light is out. Dammit. Too late to change the bulb.

6:40 -- Eh, could probably change the bulb with light from inside the house. Get new bulb from garage.

6:41 -- Go outside to replace bulb. Bulb has broken from its base and is hanging by a thread. Sigh. Go into garage for pliers.

6:42 -- Having now mastered the correct way to use pliers to remove a broken bulb, this takes no time at all. My next-door neighbors come by to say hello, and wonder where all the kids are (as they often come in busses from other neighborhoods). They think H1N1 fears might be keeping them away.

6:42 -- Neighbors leave, bulb base removed. I go back in the house for the new bulb. Which I promptly drop and shatter on the floor.

6:43 -- Back to garage for yet another new bulb. (Note to self: Go to Costco; running low on bulbs.) Insert new bulb.

6:45 -- Back in house to vaccuum bits of broken lightbulb. Cat already had cut her paw-pad on something yesterday, I don’t need her stepping on broken glass.

6:54 -- Done with cleanup. Porch light does not affect spooky stuff in window. Ready to go. Still no kids.

6:58 -- Am watching last night’s “Numb3rs.” Enjoyed the shout-out to the “Pie & Burger.” They DO have good pie.

7:07 -- Kids! Dad with a Batman, a skeleton, and a little girl dressed as a pumpkin. Too cute.

7:08 -- My cat is giving me the “WTF?” face.

7:12 -- Return of same family -- now mom (cat make-up) and another little girl. Batman and Skeleton watched from about 10 feet back; did not try to double-dip. (!)

7:47 -- More kids. May or may not have been the same skeleton; I’ve sort of lost track. But I’ve got to head off to the party, so didn’t say anything when one kid took, like, 5 candies.

7:48 -- Older kids now. One wasn’t costumed at all, but another one was in a nice chef’s outfit, carrying a lovely platter with a brain on it. Very nice work.

7:49 -- A mom with a tiny little ladybug who was too scared to even say “Trick or Treat.” (Or even “Thank you,” as her mom urged.) Sweet little thing, though.

7:50 -- Oh sure, NOW they come. Was planning to leave at 8:00 to be fashionable late to the party. Gotta eat dinner; feed the cat; and somehow put on my gypsy costume while still answering the door.

7:52 -- This last pair looked like they were eighteen? REALLY?

7:53 -- Refilled the candy bowl, as all that was left were Snickers. Note: Kids like Skittles better. (I tend to agree.)

7:55 -- Anyone seen my cat? Seriously. It’s not like her to sneak out the front door, but she’s not in her usual “the doorbell scared me” hiding place.

7:56 -- I’m used to seeing one adult with a bunch of kids -- here’s four adults with one little girl. And all of the adults have trick or treat bags!

8:01 -- Shit. Cat didn’t come out when I put out the cat food. She ALWAYS comes out when I put out the catfood. Last pair of kids were wearing signs labelled “Help the Homeless.” Tactless, maybe?

8:04 -- Damn. She’s not under any of the furniture. I’m not leaving this house till I know for sure the cat’s inside it. One of my outside motion-sensor lights is on. I hope she’s not out there.

8:07 -- I won’t freak. This is me not freaking. I know she knows more hiding places I do, but I have been opening the door an awful lot. I’ll just sit here and eat dinner and hope she shows up. Shit.

8:11 -- Four more kids. I’ve moved to the back-up bowl of candy. Still no cat.

8:16 -- Two more kids and an adult. Each kid takes one candy. The adult says, “Can I take three?” (Still no cat. The not freaking out isn’t working.)

8:24 -- More kids; more kids; no cat. I’ve got to shut down the Candy Store and get the hell out of here, but the feline hunt is still ongoing.

8:30 -- Porch light out; halloween décor put away. Closed for Business. Turned off TV so maybe I could hear the cat’s widdle bell better. “Jasmine?” “Jasmine??!!” Going to change now -- hope no damn kids come when I’m nekkid.

8:32 -- FOUND!! Kitty magically appeared while burshing teeth. Must hug her and kiss her and call her George.

I’m outta here y’all. Happy Halloween!