Thoughts on "The Karate Kid" remake

My folks visited for the weekend and we went to the movies.  Saw Karate Kid.  (Because my dad hasn't seen Toy Story 1 and 2 yet.)

And so: 

- We're calling it Karate Kid even though there is no actual karate in it?
(Actually, I just looked it up on imdb, and the international title is apparently the more accurate Kung Fu Kid, so it's only us Americans who have to deal with this nonsense.)


- And the 12-year-old kid has top billing over Jackie Chan.  (That's the 12-year-old kid who is the producers' son.  I mean, really.  I got a Bat Mitzvah when I turned 13; this kid gets a major motion picture.)


- And (spoiler?) why doesn't Jackie Chan get to beat the crap out of the evil Kung Fu teacher at the end?  Honestly, the only time we see Jackie Chan fighting in this thing is when he's fighting a bunch of kids.  And you can't have a perfectly good, elegantly choreographed, humorous-but-I-bet-it-still-hurts Jackie Chan beat-down of kids.  (Even if they are the students of the evil Kung Fu teacher.)


- No.  Instead they've got Jackie Chan doing the heavy lifting when it comes to acting.  I'll just let that sink in for a moment.  Jackie freakin' Chan has the big emotional break-down-in-tears scene.  I'm not saying he's a bad actor or anything, but this isn't what I'd call playing to his strengths.


In two weeks, this things has grossed over a hundred million dollars.  Respectable.


Why does this make me feel so very old?