Here's the scenario. I'm on a first date with some guy. We're sitting across the table from each other at a restaurant. Doing that whole try-to-get-to-know-each-other-even-though-you're-both-trying-to-make-the-best-impression thing. It's going pretty well. We laugh a little, have a few of those moments of common understanding, and then it happens. He asks The Question.
"Hey, what do you look like without your glasses on?"
Or, what's even more annoying, sometimes he'll just reach over the table, and tweak my glasses off, with the explanation, "I want to see what you really look like."
Yeah, well, I want to see what you look like without your pants, but I'm not-- OK, bad example.
The thing of it is ... what I really look like is the person sitting here with a pair of eyeglasses on her head. I've worn glasses since I was an infant. I've never known a time when I didn't wear them. While they weren't exactly factory-installed original equipment, you can think of them as a dealer-added option. Kinda like floor mats.
And if you think about it, there is absolutely no graceful way you can get out of it, once you've asked to see me sans spectacles.
What usually happens is my date will then compliment me on how attractive I look without the glasses. This path is fraught with danger. It inevitably leads to, "Have you ever considered contacts?"
"Contacts?! Oh my God! You mean I can get little lenses and stick them in my eyes and not have to wear glasses? Thank you! Thank you, kind sir, for telling me about an option that will allow me to go through life showing off my natural beauty in a way that is so clearly preferable to the unattractive eyeglass-wearer you see before you! Wow! I'm gonna call my eye doctor tomorrow and get a prescription! Thank you! Thank you!"
It would be as if you've asked me if I've ever considered ... I don't know... going braless or something. Sure, you might find that more attractive, but for reasons of my own physical comfort I'd like to keep the bra, thanks very much. The point is, the eyeglasses -- just like the undergarments -- are something I've chosen to wear, rather than not wear. And, you, as my date, should just appreciate the entire package as is, or take a hike.
1 comment:
You have chosen to live and work in Southern California. It truly is the land of superficiality and it has spread its deep-seated sickness to the rest of the country and is now hellbent on exporting the infection to every nook and cranny, hill and hollow on the planet.
I'm just surprised the first dater didn't ask you, "Are they real?"
You look just fine the way you are - if the stupid git can't see that for himself, I suggest a remedial course with Miss Manners. He's obviously the one that needs new glasses. And a new attitude to go with them.
wil
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