50 for 50: 50 - I'm calling it. DLP with Lecie.

I've had a bit of trouble with the actual 50th thing.

Although the whole project was initially set up as "in lieu of a party," I ended up having a bit of party, which was initially billed as the 50th thing -- and did, in fact, include some folks I'd wanted to do a "50 for 50" with (Hi Cousins Shawn and Dash!); but I've been hesitant to actually write it up and call that one the 50th thing, because they were a bit particular with numbers of people, and I wasn't able to invite everyone I'd done a (local) 50 for 50 with, and it didn't seem right at all to put a cap on the project with a party to which I hadn't been able to invite everyone I wanted to invite (apologies).

So, I've spent at least 6 months staring at the few items remaining on the list and puzzling over how the HELL I've had this project open for a coupla years and still haven't managed to find a friend to go to Disneyland with me (well, a friend who didn't already do a 50 for 50) and then fate intervened and, fuck it: Lecie, you did my last 50 for 50 even though you didn't know it.  And we certainly didn't plan it.

I 'splain.

Here's me in London.  I've booked a weekend in Disneyland Paris.  It's the night before I take the Eurostar over and I take a peek at Facebook.  Lecie has posted one of those "I'm at the airport with my mom" status thingies, and it says she's going to Paris.

Relevant Things I know About Lecie:  She's fun.  She likes Disneyland.

I drop her a message:  Hey, you're not going to Disneyland Paris, are you?

She IS.  The exact same days I am.

We plan (in a broad, general sense) to meet up.

Honestly, I don't know exactly how much time we're going to spend together.  I'm totally horning in on her Vacation With Mom at this point, but figure we should at least say "hi" and see what's up.

We're arriving at Disneyland Paris at more or less the same time, although I beat her on account of train lag being a lot less intense than jet lag.  I send her a text and ask if she wants me to make a dinner reservation.  (Implicit:  Hey, are we gonna get dinner together?)  We are.  We are so gonna get dinner together.

We are actually going to spend most of the weekend together -- although we're at different hotels, so we breakfast on our own.  And there's that large chunk of Saturday when we split up so I can try to ride everything on the Ultimate FastPass (spoiler: I can't) and she and her mom can meet Maleficent (sorry, "Malefique") and ride Small World (I'm a hard pass on Small World).  But, mostly, we hang in Disneyland Paris together, and have pretty much the same goals.

We LOVE the statues they've got set up all over Adventureland for Coco/Day of the Dead.

We also love the dragon under the castle, the view of the Disneyland entrance at night, and the Alice in Wonderland Maze.

At one point, I'm trying to find the FastPass Entrance to Phantom Manor (spoiler:  There isn't one; don't let the fact that the Ultimate FastPass actually includes Phantom Manor throw you off)... ANYWAY, I'm on my own and wandering the path by the side of Phantom Manor (because I will gnaw off my own foot before I ask a French person for directions) and I discover the "cemetery" just goes ON, and ends up in "Boot Hill" which is the intersection of the Frontierland concept with the Phantom Manor concept, and there's actually a little raised area with "tombs" you can walk among.  The sound effects are creepy as hell, especially when "Big Thunder Mountain" isn't running (which it wasn't) so there aren't any screams of joy in the background, just the whooshing of air through what sounds like an abandoned space.  And I think, "I've gotta bring Lecie and her mom back here."  So after we meet up for dinner on Saturday night (an adventure best left un-recounted), we took in the Eerie, and Lecie took lots of pictures of it (but she's a photographer and I forgot to).

And one thing the three of us really wanted to do was have a nice lunch at Bistrot Chez Remy.  Our first day there, Lecie braved the phone call with the Disney Restaurant Reservation People (FFS, put this on the app), who lived up to every negative stereotype of French people dealing with Americans -- the lady told her they were fully booked all weekend and hung up on her.  When I was FastPassing it up the next day, I rode the Ratatouille ride (which is largely interesting for how the trackless vehicles move more than any actual fun factor), which let out right next to the Bistrot, so thought I'd pop in and inquire.  Do you happen to have any reservations available for lunch tomorrow?  Mais oui.

So, before we had to leave for our respective trains, we got to tuck into some really tasty food cooked by an imaginary rat.  To say this was the best food I'd ever eaten in an amusement park is faint praise (although true).  It may well have been the best food I've ever eaten in France -- that probably says more about where I've eaten in France than Remy's cooking.  The dish of the day was a lamb shank, which was just super flavorful and fall-off-the-bone tender and did I mention super flavorful?  I kind of inhaled it.

Lecie's mom and I bonded over the inability to get a decent cup of tea pretty much anywhere in Disneyland Paris.  (Well, the French seem attached to a green tea with mint, which isn't bad, but isn't great if you're looking for something in a get-you-going strongly caffeinated beverage.)  I assume the inability to find a decent cup of English Breakfast Tea on this side of the Channel is the French still being miffed about the 100 Years War.  But, seriously, with all the English tea suppliers just a hop, skip and a boat away, Disneyland Paris gave their exclusive tea contract to LIPTON.  And then half the restaurants don't even have standard Lipton Black Tea, just herbal stuff.  It's a travesty.  (Particularly given that the target audience of Disneyland Paris is Brits on holiday.)  What are we supposed to drink with our chocolate mousse?!  (And don't get us started on the green creme brulee at the Steakhouse.)

But, mostly, I just got to know Lecie a bit better as we laughed and smiled and tried to stay dry in the Happiest Place in France.  She's definitely one of those people who is good to travel with -- easily changes plans on the fly, enjoys the adventure, and approaches new experiences with a sense of wonder and joy.  I'm glad I got to experience Disneyland Paris with her.

And it's also fitting to close out the 50 for 50 with Lecie -- she's a new friend, someone I'm not sure I'd even met when I started this project.  Especially with missing 49 with Meg, wrapping this up by cementing a new friendship is SATISFYING.  Overall, I've had more fun than I could've possibly imagined when I started the project, and I've been reluctant to actually end it.  This (unexpectedly) ended it on the right note -- with all the childish wonder of a Disney park, the grown-up ability to dump a lot of money on a really nice meal, and the serendipitous nature of us randomly being at the same place at the same time, 5600 miles away. 

I'm ready to sweep up and call it a day.

50 for 50: 49 - The Placeholder Remains

I've had to make a few changes to the 50 for 50.  Sometimes, someone wasn't available; sometimes, work intervened; sometimes, we just couldn't make schedules mesh.  I subtly (and sometimes, not so subtly) dropped stuff from the list, added more stuff, or rearranged.  (Hell, I'm ALWAYS happy to do this stuff with friends and family; it doesn't HAVE to be a 50 for 50 to have an excuse to do it.) 

I was at the point where I had two things left, 49 and 50 (obviously).  I even did the 50th thing -- a fit-a-bunch-of-people-in-a-single-event type of thing to just put a cap on this project, but that would have to number 50, and I hadn't quite done 49 yet.

I was holding 49 for Meg.

We were supposed to go to a TV taping.  At first, her back went out, and she didn't think she could sit for the few hours involved in a taping.  When her back got better, it was summer, and we didn't want to see anything that was taping.  I mean, yeah, sure, we could see "Fuller House," but the college admissions scandal just broke, and we didn't really want to be seen doing anything that might be interpreted as supportive of Lori Loughlin.  (It's one thing to do the crime, but girlfriend signing autographs outside court is just something I cannot get behind.)  We figured we'd postpone until autumn, and catch "Will & Grace."

"Will & Grace" is filming again.

Meg passed away today.

Stupid fucking aggressive cancer.  The timeline from diagnosis to hopeful treatment to stopping treatment to succumbing was remarkably quick.  I don't quite think I'd processed that her doctors stopped chemo and put her on palliative care when I got word that it was over.  I mean, sure, I knew, but I didn't KNOW.

Meg knew, I think.  It was just about a month ago when she told me I might need to give the TV Taping to someone else.  I told her that I'm holding it for her, and I'm keeping my word.  49 stays empty.  It's Meg's.

She was generous.  She loved theatre.  Back when I was reviewing, I offered myself up at our annual auction for the Food Bank -- I'd take the winner as my guest to an opening night at the Ahmanson or Pantages.  Meg bid on me every year.  (Once there was a bidding war; I'm told it nearly ended in fisticuffs.)  I was glad she did; she was a great "plus one" for an opening night invite, and I tried to take her whenever I could, auction or not.  She was a genuine theatre geek, and I loved having her.

We were not super close; I'm sure there are dozens of people who can eulogize her better than I can.  We were just "work friends," although with theatre benefits.  We laughed.  We shared hundreds of lunches with the First Cup Friday crew.  She had just retired and didn't get nearly enough time to enjoy it.  I'll miss her.  I already do.

When it seemed like this might be the end for Meg, I actually thought that maybe I'd leave this one empty as a memento mori -- that somehow it made this list more complete if I left one open for someone who passed on.  I mean, hell, isn't the whole point (well, one of the points) of my 50 for 50 to spend time with people I love today because you never know what's going to happen tomorrow?

And now that she's gone, that's not why I'm leaving it empty.  It has nothing to do with me.  Years from now, I'm sure, I'll go back over these posts, and let them trigger memories, and I'll think about how much fun it was to do this project, and how very much I enjoyed the company of each and every person I did one of these with.  And I'm keeping this for Meg because I want to keep remembering her.  We might have missed out on a "Will & Grace" taping together, but I'm not going to take away her spot on my list.

50 for 50: 48 - Old Timey Photo with my Parents

From the Department of Things That Should Have Been Easy...

I thought Old Timey Photos were still available at every damned amusement park.  Not so.  (Dollywood?  Yes.  Knott's Berry Farm?  Probably.)  But most parks have traded in the Old Timey Photos for Green Screen photos.  (And I went to Dollywood with Steve, who'd already done a 50 for 50 by then, and didn't want to do an Old Timey Photo anyway.)

A few months back, I was in Arizona with my folks, sister, and aunt, and we had some time to kill, so I was looking for an Old Timey Photo place, thinking I could maybe sneak that one in.  There was one just a few miles away....

It had burned down.

Honest to God, there was a fire there a couple years back, and they chose not to rebuild -- or, at least, not to rebuild the business.  The nearest Old Timey Photo place was something like 50 miles away.  Certainly nothing we could slip in before dinner.  Old Timey Photo was turning out to be a challenge.

Fast forward to me being in Arizona for my father's birthday weekend.  For his birthday, yesterday, we drove out to the Dolly Steamboat -- a paddle boat that tours around a lake up in the mountains.  (We saw big horn sheep!  And some woman wearing a tube-top bikini jump about 60 feet into the water.  (We saw her head resurface.  We're not so sure the tube top survived the impact.))  It was a nice little (air-conditioned) paddle boat tour and we enjoyed it.

It had been an hour and a half drive away.  Up the (scenic) Apache Trail.  The cell phone service is spotty up here.  You even pass an old ghost town on the way -- a gold mining town which had gone all touristy.  We'd been there years ago, and taken the mine tour, and walked past the little shops.  We were reminiscing about it on the steamboat, and my mother mentioned that we'd walked past the House of Questionable (if not actually Ill) Repute, and I thought, "Y'know, that's the sort of place that would have an Old Timey Photo establishment."

I waited until I got enough of a signal to pull the ghost town up on my cell phone, and, sure enough, of the ten whole shops at the Goldfield Ghost Town, one is an old timey photo joint. 

Now, technically (and, y'know, ACTUALLY) this was my Dad's birthday, so I half wheedled/half negotiated a stop at the ghost town on the way back the mountain.  (Said my father, with a sigh of resignation, "Can we get ice cream?"  I replied, "As a matter of fact, one of the other shops is an ice cream parlour."  A deal was made.)

For those wondering about the 50 for 50 rules at this moment, 50 for 50 things are One Per Person, and, at this point, I'd only done one with my parents, so I had a spare available.  I am therefore proud to present:  Old Timey Photo With My Folks!

That's the one I took home; my parents acquired an alternative pose:

And that's how my Dad's birthday turned out to be my 48th 50 for 50.

50 for 50: 47 - Drink hot cocoa (not by a fire) with Caroline

As we get near the end of my 50 for 50 list, we're getting to the ones that have been ... logistically challenging.

And it's been some of the ones which I'd thought would be easy.

Case in point:  Drink hot cocoa by a fire.

I'd initially thought this one was open to all sorts of interpretation when I'd put it on the list.  Maybe a "ski trip" (in quotes because me skiing is a questionable at best), or some sort of campfire evening type of thing.

This did not occur.

My friend Caroline signed up for it.  She thought we'd find a nice cafe with hot chocolate and a fireplace.

This did not occur either.  Mostly because we live in Los Angeles.  And while there are some hot chocolate establishments (some of which are seasonal and we'd blown the season), none of them are near fire.

OK, ditch the flame.  Let's just find someplace with good sippin' chocolate.

There is such a place.  Amara Cafe, in Pasadena.

They serve dinner and stuff.  And what is actually on their menu as "drinking chocolate."  (As opposed to ... wearing chocolate?)  They do a Venezuelan sippin' chocolate (and have an impressive-looking dessert menu in which churros feature heavily).  Caroline and I plan to go there for dinner.

This, also, failed to occur.  On multiple occasions.  She got sick.  I got sick.  Her kid got sick.  They're closed on Mondays.  I'm out of town.  They close at 7:30.  Her other kid got sick.  FFS, give me some sippin' chocolate with Caroline!

To be completely honest about it, we almost had more fun NOT doing the 50 for 50 than we had doing it.  We met for a non-hot-chocolate dinner (in lieu of Amara) a bunch of times.  (Juicy pork dumplings FTW!)  Every time, we chatted, got caught up on each other's lives, and just took some time out of our (apparently) super busy lawyer lives to breathe.

We FINALLY made this happen on Tuesday.  I was so busy this week (dinner with a visiting out-of-town friend on Wednesday; Avengers: Endgame on Thursday; plane to Arizona on Friday), I almost cancelled (again), but everyone seemed healthy, nobody was in the ER, Amara was actually open, and when the hell were the stars going to align like this again?!

We went.  I had some sort of cornmeal pizza thing (not its real name -- cachapas, I think) with chicken and black beans which was actually pretty good, and A CUP OF VENEZUELAN DRINKING CHOCOLATE which was, y'know, better.

And the restaurant was more of a cafe, and the seating was not exactly luxurious, and it was after 7:30 so they were trying to shuffle us out.  But we were sitting there, being hugged from the inside by chocolatey goodness, and being warmed from the outside by friendship, and it was a moment that couldn't be rushed.

And did I get a picture?  This failed to occur.  ;)   We'll just have to manage to do it again.

LMNL at OneDome

I have a work thing in San Francisco, so I came up a few days early to spend the weekend with Cousin Roni.  And we had salads and went retro clothes shopping (and I got a sweater with little kitty faces on it) and I met her bunny and we walked around and I saw views and it was fun!

And today, I wanted to do something vaguely indoorsy, and Groupon hooked us up with LMNL at OneDome.  LMNL is billed as an interactive exhibit made up of 14 rooms designed by 14 different artists that you get to play in.

I had hoped for something kinda like Meow Wolf. 

Not so much.  It was more like Instagram Heaven.

First, we started with "Health Shots."  Served in skull shot glasses, for some damn reason.  No, wait, I know the reason.  Because this looks cool.

We were actually pretty lucky, in that we got there when there was no line, and most of the rooms were empty, or had only one group in them (and we could just wait our turn and get the room to ourselves).  But the people who were in there fell into several categories:

- Families with kids who were running and jumping and playing and having the bestest time!
- Artist-types who were feeling the vibe and sketching what they saw.
- Duos made up of one person who was clearly the Instragram model and the other who was her photographer.

Me and Roni were just there to, y'know, have fun.

I really like the room with strings of lights in it.  This was one place where the reflection in my glasses added to the effect.  Dude, we are in the Matrix.

You can't quite tell (because selfie) but we were SURROUNDED by the strings of lights; we're standing in a small space in the middle, but it's lights everywhere.

The wall in this one was surprisingly fun to play with.

Not sure why I was going for the "Chased by something" look here, but the wall totally adds to the panic.

There was one very small room (you could barely fit both of us in there) which was mirrored on all surfaces and the mirrors had flashy lights in them which responded to motion.  We stood outside the room for a bit, watching the Instagram Couple take all the photos they wanted -- she kept posing, telling him the pose she was taking, and directing him which shots to take.  It kind of cracked us up.  I told Roni that when we got in there, I was going to sit in the corner and completely ignore the camera, and then turn and stare blankly at it, like I so totally don't care about anything.

Roni says I nailed it.  I'm thinking of maybe starting an Instagram of "50-Year-Old Does 15-Year-Old Angst" poses, but, like, I just totally can't be bothered right now.

And then we stood up in the tiny room, and figured that if it's REALLY activated by motion, we should give it some damn motion.  So we did a little tango in there, and were rewarded with tons of bright rainbow lights, and we laughed and fell toward the doorway.  When Roni opened the door, we saw the Instagram Couple out there, and I wondered if they'd noticed us totally goofing in the room, but they were glued to their phones, reviewing their pix, and waiting for their turn to go back in and redo some shots.

Ooo, Universal Annual Pass

Tried out my Universal Studios Annual Pass today.  I've been to Universal in Florida five times in the past few years.  I know it well.  On the other hand, I've not been to Universal Hollywood since they put in the Harry Potter stuff, and, except for that one visit a few years back, possibly not for decades.

It's ... changed.

I moved to California in the late 1970s, and every time a friend or relative came to visit, my family would take them to Disneyland and Universal.  ("Tour A," we jokingly called it.)  When I got my driver's license (1984), I started volunteering to do the Universal runs myself.  My folks often let me do it; they were pretty sick of the place, but I loved it.

THAT's the Universal Studios I remember -- when Universal was a tram ride followed by four live shows (the Wild West Stunt Show, the makeup show, the animal show, and that fourth one where they use people from the audience as extras (how cool is that?)).  We would go back every time they added something new to the tram ride.   They added Jaws!  They added King Kong!  They added an Earthquake! 

I'd want to go back every time I saw something from the tour on TV.  That (hilariously bad) ice tunnel/avalanche thing?  We recognized it in that Bigfoot episode of Six Million Dollar Man (a classic of American entertainment).  They put the damn thing in an episode of "Knight Rider," and I'd want to go back and see it again.  It was that whole idea of being close to the Actual Real Stuff They'd Actually Used To Make The Movies.  Actually.

The tour guides on the trams would always tell you what stuff had been filmed Right Where You Were, and they'd give you Inside Info on movies they were filming (or had just finished) so that you'd keep an eye out for them.  I remember when they told us to look out for that "Back to the Future" thing they'd filmed in the town square.  Of course, the next time I went to Universal, they were pitching something else they'd filmed since; it took years for them to call it "Back to the Future Square" on the tour.  But that's because now it's not about showing you the Actual Stuff where movies are Actually Being Made Right Now.  Now it's shiny and packaged with video clips (and, if you time it right (or wrong) a song and dance number in Whoville) and a big ol' Fast and Furious Thing at the end.

And the shows and rides have changed, too.  Sure, shows and rides ALWAYS change at theme parks, but if you walk into Disneyland, you still know "Pirates of the Caribbean" is over there to your left, and if you keep going, you'll hit "Haunted Mansion."  I walked into Universal today and couldn't find anything.  I happened into the "Special Effects" show, which was in the ... yes! that theater still has the exterior of a castle and that's where they used to do that classic movie monsters show where they made up some audience member like the Bride of Frankenstein.

(Shoutout to the "American Tail" show, also disappeared; now replaced by the "Minion Mayhem" attraction.)

And the "Mummy" ride.  (OK, pause here.  The "Mummy" ride in Florida is actually a "Mummy" ride.  It's got Brendan Fraser on video and something of a storyline and fire and stuff and it's THEMED right through.  The "Mummy" ride in Hollywood is a dark ride, with theming in the waiting area and the very first part of the ride, but otherwise contents itself with being a roller coaster in the dark which occasionally shows you screens with something scary on them.  However, the backwards bit rocks.)  The "Mummy" is a dark ride located where my memories tell me the "E.T." ride ought to be.  (And for all I know, they've probably still got some of the "E.T." stuff in there, just pushed to the side and covered with a tarp.)  There used to be that "Backdraft" attraction in the lower lot, too.  And ... wait a minute, something in the Special Effects show reminded me that there used to be a three-section Special Effects Theater down here.  What the hell happened to that?  Internet tells me "Backdraft" AND the Special Effects Theater were replaced with the "Transformers" ride.  Great.  A Decepticon stole my childhood.

When I was driving home from Universal, I was chatting with my parents on the phone and told them the park wasn't recognizable anymore.  Dad remembered having seen "Lord of the Dance" at the Universal Amphitheatre.  ("Not Riverdance.  The other one where the guy didn't do much in it.")  Dad wanted to know what happened to the amphitheatre.

Good question.  It coalesced with my interent search of "Hey, what did they build the Wizarding World on?"  Yup, Dad, Hogwarts is now on the site of the Universal Amphitheatre.  You could almost hear the echoes of the step dancers.

I'm not going to complain about the Wizarding World because it's kind of awesome (and, since it is similar to the one in Florida, it's the only part of the park I can more-or-less find my way around).  But I do wonder, as space considerations and a fickle public move on to the Next Big Thing, what will eventually take its place when it, too, is wiped away?

50 for 50: 46 - Destroy the World with Janet, Ellen & Janice

Yeah.  This sort of became a 50 for 50 by popular demand.  I mean, sure, "Escape Room" was already taken (when Cousin Seth and Cousin Gavi and I got screwed over by the "Don't touch the fireplace"/"Oh, well, actually you should touch the fireplace" thing).  But I wasn't managing to get in any OTHER 50 for 50 with Janet OR Ellen OR Janice, so when we all somehow agreed to do "Sherlock: The Game Is Now" in London, it got added to the list.

On the plus side, this is not your ordinary Escape Room.  It costs about twice as much and is WORTH IT.  The tech and the immersive elements in this are first rate.  ABSOLUTELY first rate.  (With one astonishing low-tech exception.)  You sort of get a hint of exactly how much quality you're going to get when you show up.  It's in a mall and takes up what looks like SEVERAL storefronts.  And you actually enter through a mock storefront.  (You are warned about this in advance.  The idea is that you're signing up for secret agent training so OF COURSE they're going to have you meet at a mock storefront.  And it's a pretty good mock storefront.  I mean, considering that this is JUST the place where you go in, store your crap (every group gets one giant box for their stuff), and fill out the waiver, they've put a lot of effort into filling the room with props (and human beings) to make it look like something it isn't.)

The room also requires four to six people.  Ellen -- a very nice lady from Germany who I met while watching Andrew Scott play "Hamlet" -- and I decided that we would do this as soon as it was announced.  But I can count to four, and me plus Ellen didn't quite get me there.  At the same time, I've been trying to get Janice into an Escape Room with me for years.  ACTUAL years.  Janice is a quick thinker (I've known her since we were part of the advanced math group in Junior High School) and I've been curious how she'd attack a room.  One of my regrets of this room is that I was paying so much attention to trying to get out of it, I didn't get to really watch how Janice got on.  ANYWAY, I invited Janice and her daughter Beth to come along.  (Janice lives in England, outside London, and they agreed to take the train in for this.)  We also added Janet and Rob.  Janet is a friend from work who -- for the second time -- found herself interested in going to London around the time I was going to London, and we were more than happy to add them to our crew.  Besides, we needed all the help we could get.

(Second regret:  We didn't actually get much time beforehand to discuss strategy, and we've (obviously) never done a room together.  We were a little disorganized in the first part of this, because of that, but we got it together by the second room.)

OK, so they start you with your introduction.  In a private room, they give you video clips and an introduction to both the secret agent organization you're "joining" as well as an introduction to, y'know, REASONING and shit.  Making deductions from the evidence before you.  Your (live human being) host is showing you slides and asking what you can infer from them, and it dawns on me that we are pretty much taking our sweet time here.  It isn't just "sign the waiver and we'll drop you in the room"; it's sign the waiver and we'll get you all warmed up on the thinking (with much positive reinforcement along the way) and THEN we'll go in the room.

The little practice problem they give you is a modern take on a classic Sherlock Holmes story.  This fact hits at least three of us at the same time.  Beth notes the similarity aloud (go Beth!); I name the story.  Armed with this insight, we solve that one right quick and get taken into the sitting room for our pre-game photo.

This is supposed to be ... I honestly can't remember what they claim it's for, but I figure it's to be used for identifying our bodies when we fail.

(Along the way to the sitting room, we pass a cardboard cutout of Martin Freeman as Watson.  It's about two-thirds lifesize.  Our guide comments that it's actual size, and we laugh.  Our guide THEN comments that "some people say he looks like a hobbit."  We laugh again, and I mentally adjust my estimation of the patter upward.  This is VERY immersive and realistic, but also tongue-in-cheeck and playing with the fourth wall.)

In the sitting room, we're given a video introduction to our training by a (very bored) Mycroft and I'm honestly not really listening because any idiot knows that very soon something "bad" is going to happen and we're going to go into "this is not a drill" mode and THEN I'll pay attention.

It happens.  It's hilarious.  Andrew Scott is back as Moriarty.  And just around the second you think, "Oh wait.  Isn't he dead?" Video Moriarty says, "Yes, I'm dead."  Honest to God, people, whoever wrote Moriarty's speech on this video deserves an Escapey or whatever they call awards for Escape Room writing, because we have just raised the fucking bar on the standard "Oh, hey, I've kidnapped your leader and you have one hour to save him" speech.

We're actually in the sitting room with another group, and we're both taken out and led to our own (identical) Escape Rooms.  We know they have two sets; they probably have more.  (The website suggests they've got five.)

The tech is superb.  SUPERB.  You never have to open or close a door; it's all automatic.  There were a few physical locks; most were electronic keypads.  A few physical puzzles; but, again, most were electronic.  Lots of information you have to get out of a computer terminal.  Another room with numerous moving parts -- hit the right thing and hidden displays appear; hit the other right thing and control pads elevate from hidden compartments.  Hit the wrong thing and SOMEONE points you in the right direction.  (Frequently "Sherlock," typing something on a screen.  I am fairly certain that if you're actually GOOD at this, you will never hear from Sherlock at all.  We heard from him a lot.  Always encouraging, like, "Those first two things are correct," rather than, "You idiot; the third thing is obviously wrong.")

A couple times, they called us.  A couple times, we called them.  Clues were given.  We will ignore the fact that we solved the puzzles but had issues working the telephone.

(At the end of the game, you receive a card on which Sherlock has graded your group, assigning you to one of nine group personality types.  Each type has a positive and a negative.  We are categorized as "The Academics."  Our positive is "Breezed through the hard," and our negative is "Ensnared by the simple."  I assume this was based on our inability to use a bloody telephone.)

It isn't that there were unlimited clues.  (There WERE unlimited clues.)  It's that you paid enough money for this that you weren't going to fail, so they would give you enough clues (and, in some cases, just automatically open the damn doors, even if you hadn't earned it) to get through.

(OK, so, like, a couple weeks ago, I was with my aunt and uncle and cousin and cousin's kid and they each did this VR thing where they chased and killed a minotaur.  And my cousin killed the minotaur -- shot him in the head.  And my cousin's kid killed the minotaur -- shot him in the body.  And my uncle killed the minotaur -- shot him the delicate bits.  And my aunt ... look, the minotaur just backed into that thing and the grate came down and crushed his head.  Dead minotaur, ok?  That's this escape room:  the end result is always success; whether you actually had anything to do with it is another matter.)

Or, putting it another way, our little review card says our result was "Success" and our time was "60+" minutes.  Yeah, it's a 60-minute escape room.

I've never had so much fun failing.  It was not a VR room at all, but it was LIKE VR, in the sense that it was completely immersive (while you were always aware it was a game).  By the time we got into the last room, there were four (possibly five) puzzles we had to solve and I saw we had about ten minutes to do it.  (I may have said aloud, "We are so fucked.")  But I GENUINELY felt like we were well and truly fucked.  Urgent music playing urgently in the background; monitors in the center of the room showing different audio and video all hurrying us along; four puzzles we didn't even know HOW to approach; Moriarty about to take out our fearless leader; Sherlock about to be super disappointed in us; the shame of having to come online and admit to all of you that we failed big time ... Ellen later said she couldn't even concentrate on the game because it ACTUALLY felt stressful.  She's not wrong.

I scratched myself at some point in the game.  (Look!  Blood!)

I didn't notice until afterward.  I was so into solving this thing, I completely missed my own owie.

We failed (or, y'know, succeeded in over 60 minutes), and were escorted into the "you're done now" room.  Our hosts explained the puzzles we were stuck on at the end (another 15 minutes and maybe...?) as well as a place I'd personally screwed up earlier (sorry, y'all -- I broke the cardinal rule by thinking I had the solution to something myself without sharing the clue with everyone).

They then showed us an IMPRESSIVE amount of boxes full of stuff and jokingly tell you that the last puzzle is figuring out which box has your stuff.  I have a key.  I remember what the lock looked like.  I find a box with a lock like that, use my key, open the box, and find SOMEONE ELSE'S STUFF.  That's right -- for all the high tech in the rooms, they have two padlocks on the lockboxes which take exactly the same key!

Once we took hold of our own belongings, they led us into the last room:  a bar!  (I figured it would be either a bar or a gift shop.)  You're encouraged to grab a table and have a drink and deprogram.  We had a great chat.  Ellen and Janet had seen a LOT of the same plays, so they were talking theatre, while I caught up with Janice.  Then Janice had to leave, so I got to talk more with Janet and Ellen.  We discussed work and not work, and how to approach escape rooms (it was Janet's first, although her husband had done a few) and what we'd do differently the next time.  Ellen said that the hosts told her they'll change this room in the future, so we can come back and play it again.

I hope we do.