Vacation with Dad -- Remainder of Day Three

After returning from the hike, I showered desert off of myself, and had my first of two meetings with my Nutritionist.  The Nutritionist was all about gathering information about what I eat and how to turn this into a healthy eating lifestyle.

She was actually pretty good.  She had asked if I wanted guidance on numbers of calories, or if I wanted direction on meals instead.  I chose the latter course.  I also said that what I really needed help on was how much I could "fall off the wagon."  I mean, it's all well and good to eat a nice balance of proteins and fruits and carbs and veggies, but I'm going to want that warm chocolate lava cake with ice cream every now and then.  So I asked if that's a once a week thing?  Or every other week?  Or what?

And she basically found a way to put the lava cake into the diet -- her philosophy being that you should incorporate this stuff in, rather than keep it out and add it in as a treat.  Basically, every day, I get 100-200 calories to screw around with -- and that can be a snack of pretzels, or popcorn, or a mini-muffin, or, yes, a small piece of lava cake with a little ice cream on top. 

(After we were done with the plan, she asked if I thought I could live with it.  In all honesty, I admitted I'd probably cheat that up to 300 calories per day.  So she picked up her mouse and replaced the "200" with "300" and told me that this would mean I'd have to, y'know, actually exercise a bit more.  Seemed like a fair trade.)

She also said some stuff which I hadn't known but which made me real happy.  Like bread.  She told me I had to eat "whole grain" bread, which I frowned at because I hate whole wheat and multi-grain and all those other healthy brown breads.  But she said that rye bread also counts, and (to my great surprise and actual glee) sourdough is equally acceptable.  I totally dig sourdough.  This is something I can work with.

So -- very useful meetings with the Nutritionist.

Had lunch with dad (a stir-fried cashew chicken thing which, again, was spicy and, again, I didn't care).  We then went to a lecture together on "Weight Loss Myths" which was pretty interesting.  The guy started off by saying you should "take with a grain of salt" anyone's weight loss advice if the advice ends with them trying to sell you something (read my book!  buy my vitamins!  go to my website!) -- which is, of course, true, but was also funny given the rest of my day.

I had the "complimentary footwear consultation" where a dude looked at my sneakers and told me that they were too small and had insufficient arch support.  Of course, he was trying to sell me new sneakers.  And later, I went to a lecture by a guy who was talking about the myths of joint pain treatment, saying things like how back and knee pain are only correctly diagnosed something like 10 percent of the time.  Of course, he was trying to sell us on this new and exciting way of treating joint pain (allegedly successful a whopping 97% of the time).  So, y'know, using the skepticism from the first lecture, I'm suspecting both of these guys may have been full of poop, considering they were both trying to sell me something.

(I may buy the shoes anyway -- but at least I'm being suitably skeptical about it.)

After a day of hike, two meetings with the Nutritionist, two lectures, and footwear consultation, I treated myself to a massage, and went right to bed.

Aside: Yes, alternate nostril breathing

I kid you not.  Alternate nostril breathing.

You take your hand, put your second and third fingers on your "third eye" (I was so impressed that my dad knew where that was without further explanation -- that spot on your forehead between your eyes where folks of certain beliefs put a dot), leaving your thumb and fourth finger free to close up one or the other of your nostrils.

Now close your left nostril.  Exhale through your right.  Inhale through your right.  Close your right nostril and open your left.  Exhale through your left.  Inhale through your left.  Repeat.

There was some sort of importance to starting on the exhale, also some sort of importance to starting and ending on the right, neither of which she explained.  Class leader also said that this was really relaxing and a good cure for insomnia.  I don't doubt it.  You get all calm when you're focussed on your breathing like that.  Of course, I expect any sort of calm, repetitive thing which has you taking nice long relaxing breaths is equally good for insomnia -- with the added bonus that you don't look like an idiot closing off your nostrils.  But there you go.

Vacation with Dad -- Morning Three

Y'know, I'm not real sure about this whole "army lowering recruitment standards" thing.  I mean, I'm 38.  I was on a 4-mile hike with a whole bunch of people who were younger than me and in way better shape.  If I was in a war with them, I couldn't very well stop, put my hands on my knees, breathe heavy, and say, "You go on ahead; I'll catch up later."

(Damn fit people on the hike.  I knew I was in trouble when I heard some people saying they were on this hike as a warm up for a level 4 hike tomorrow.  Dudes, I'm only on this level-2 hike because they don't have any level 1s scheduled.)

I'll concede it was a pretty hike.  Especially when we stopped a bit on the way down to look at the view.  The guide I was walking with (they put one guide in the front and the other in back -- guess which one I was with) suggested we stop for a second and look at the valley.  And I was, like, "Oh, pretty valley."  And it actually took a second for my eyes to really look at it -- and all these cacti just popped out of the landscape -- I mean, I'd known there were tall cacti around; I'd walked right past a few -- but I hadn't entirely focussed on the patterns that they make when you're looking from above.  It was pretty nifty.

Four miles.  One blister.  A cactus needle in my thigh.  Stepped in horse poo.  Clothes covered in sweat.  On the plus side, though, we went around the rattlesnakes. 

Vacation With Dad -- Day Two

I am at the Stepford Spa.

Every time I pass someone walking along, they ask, "How are you?"  I return the question and get back, "Great!" in response.  And these aren't employees; these are the guests.  I get the feeling that if I don't end up answering "Great!" by the time I leave, my "program advisor" is going to be thrown into a deep dark cell somewhere.

Today began with breakfast at 8:15.  We went to the "Spa Savvy" breakfast where they seat you with people who work at the place in order to get filled in on secrets.  My dad and I were the only guests there -- so it was the two employees and the two of us at an 8 person table.  Didn't learn much.  (Well, I learned you can request salt at dinner, and they'd be happy to bring it to you, but this does not work with french fries.)

At 10:00, I met with a fitness physiologist who talked with me about my exercise goals (lose weight, build up endurance), my limitations (ankle injury, whatever is up with my knees), and my current workout (uh... does petting the cat count?) -- and then she tried to put together a plan for me that may actually work.  (She also checked my heart rate so found out the number I should be aiming for -- rather than just going by the flashing lights on the elliptical machine.)  She even gave me some ideas for strengthening my ankle so I can skate again without freaking out about the ligament, which is good.  She does think that, for cardio, I should consider purchasing an elliptical machine.  (Sure, I can't like a stationary bike or a treadmill -- I have to like the most expensive cardio machine.)  She recommended looking for a used one as "lots of people buy these things and don't use them."  I checked on eBay.  She's right.  In the last couple minutes, she said I should look into "tubing" if I want to do some strength training.  It's resistance training you can do at home using long stretchy tubes--kinda like big rubber bands (except they're hollow).

Was going to go to an "Aqua Shape" class after that, but I was too late getting over there, so I went to a nearby pool and walked a half mile on the underwater treadmill.  (Yes, electricity and water together -- who knew?)  Then I sat around, getting some sun, reading a book.

After meeting dad for lunch -- at which time we compared schedules and realized we were going to take two classes together later -- I went off to a class on tubing.  Forty-five minutes later, I was drenched in sweat and staggering down the stairs.  (And a little cautious about investing in a set of tubes.  Two reasons for this.  First, a fellow class member said she bought some a couple years ago and they're collecting dust under her bed.  Second, I asked the guy leading the class, "Hey, do these things ever break and hit someone in the face?" and he said, "Yes.  I'm not gonna lie to you.")

After the tubing class, I met Dad for a class called "Breathing."  Props to Dad for going to this.  He isn't much of a touchy-feely guy to begin with, but I dared him to take one class in meditation or something like that, so he signed up for "Breathing," (which is offered by the "Mind and Body Department").  We pretty much sat around and learned to slow our breathing.  Teacher said this was good for all sorts of yogic things.  I'm pretty sure she lost my dad when she started talking about "alternate nostril breathing," but the whole idea of taking nice, deep, relaxing breaths is nice.

We then went to "Stretch & Relaxation," which was taught by the same guy who'd tortured me with the tubes a couple hours before.  Much stretching (which was good after what was, for me, a hard workout) and some lying there visualizing your "Happy Place."

Had no idea what my "Happy Place" was, so I improvised being curled up on my featherbed with my cat.  But then a picture of snorkelling at Lizard Island immediately came into view.  Unable to choose between the two, I mentally relocated my bed (with cat) to Lizard Island.  Hey, my happy place, I can do whatever I damn well please.  (I also spent some time being proud of the creation -- relaxing with the comforts of home while being on the verge of doing something adventurous.  Sounds like a happy place to me.)

Had a little time before dinner, so went to the spa itself and spent some quality time in the whirlpool and some more in the sauna.  I feel totally beat and intend to sleep well tonight.

Lord I hope so -- I'm getting up at 5:00 for that hike tomorrow.

Vacation With Dad

Now here's something new.  I'm on a long weekend vacation with my dad.

I've been on vacations with my mom before -- mom likes going to the theatre and dad doesn't; so mom and I sometimes go on whirlwind theatre trips together.  And I've been on some trips with the both of them together.  But travelling just with dad is a new one.

But, right now, my father and I have a common interest -- he can't seem to lose that "last seven pounds" and I have a big fat butt.  So dad booked us into this health spa/resorty sort of place for the weekend.  (Not a "fat farm."  A whole "lifestyle" sorta thing.)

We drove out this morning.  Took about 2 1/2 hours.  I think we're both somewhat proud of ourselves that we managed the entire drive out without turning on the radio to fill awkward silences.  Don't get me wrong -- it isn't like I'm estranged from my dad or anything -- it's just that, normally, mom is in charge of phone calls and late-night conversations (and she just passes on all relevant info to dad).  But we had a nice drive out and did some of that "bonding" stuff so I'm sure mom will be all smiley when she reads this.

We checked in, got a tour of the premises, and had lunch.  (Healthy food.  I had a salad.  It was quite tasty but I made the tactical error of eating a protein-free meal.  Not good.)  We're in Tucson so it's toasty (although not triple digits) and I drank, like, three glasses of water at lunch.

We had some time to kill before our rooms were ready so we went over to the gym.  Dad went for the treadmill and I went for the Elliptical machine and we worked out our respective hearts.  I hadn't been to the gym in, like, prolly at least a year -- and I remember when I'd started I was doing 12 minutes of cardio and had worked my way up to 20.  I figured I'd see if I could do 20 today, which I could, but I had to totally slow down my pace because about 4 minutes in, the little light indicating my heart rate was blipping at the very top of the "acceptable cardio workout" range, and I had to keep adjusting the pace to keep it this side of the "don't go there" line.  (I know my heartrate is too high when the machine can't count it.  It'll be telling me my heart rate is 151 or 153 ... and then the next thing you know it thinks my heart rate is 77.  Um, dude ... you're counting every other beat there.)  So, 20 minutes of cardio and then I reintroduced myself to the abdominal crunch and back stretch machines. 

(And then I started going to the bathroom every half hour because this is what happens when you drink all that damn water.)

Then we met with our counselor-type people who made sure we were signed up for the right classes and wouldn't kill ourselves.  (The very nice nurse lady said I could take any of the classes at "Level 1."  And she thinks I could do a hike at level 1 or level 2.  Don't be that impressed; the fitness classes only go up to 3, but the hikes are from 1 to 6.)

We then checked in all official-like and got settled in our rooms.  (My dad ended up with a room really close to the main building.  I ended up with a room much further away (wasn't sure I'd ever find it again), but, um, way better room.  I was a little ashamed to tell my dad about the flat-screen TV.)

Met dad for dinner.  A grilled chicken breast marinated with lemon-grass.  (With bamboo rice and wok-cooked carrots.)  It was really good.  Actually, it was really good excepting for it being spicy.  Now, normally, I don't eat spicy food.  (Normally, I probably wouldn't give a second thought to bamboo rice either.)  But, y'know, it's all about trying new things and being open to new lifestyle changes and, hey, if the only thing I get out of this weekend is an ability to enjoy spicy foods without, er, having my digestive system rebel, it will totally have been worth it. 

That's about the day.  I signed up for a hike on Sunday morning -- level 2, but only "low to moderate intensity."  (Don't want to hold the group back or anything.)  The one big huge major downside to the hikes is that they leave at 5:30 in the morning.  This because you don't really want to be hiking in the Arizona sun during the day, but still.  So, hopefully, I'll be able to get to sleep a little bit earlier tonight and tomorrow night, so I don't feel like committing murder when I get up for that hike.

:::Yawn, stretch:::

G'night.

Tip o' the Hat to AOL

... and as a counterpoint to the "wag of the finger" to MSN, I applaud AOL's decision to go free.  Because I've had broadband access for years and the only reason I've continued to pay for AOL was inertia, which is a damn stupid reason to keep coughing up $14.95 a month.  But all I use AOL for is email and my journal (and the occasional IM), and paying for that seemed ridiculous.  (Especially since I have eight email address -- six of which are still spam-free -- thanks to my broadband supplier.)  So I've been asking myself, pretty much every month, if it's worth it to stay with AOL just to save myself the trouble of sending out "change of email" messages to everyone, and to keep my journal here. 

And it has been looking less and less worth staying -- what with the banner ads showing up on our journals, and (I recently noticed) ads showing up when reading mail on aol.com.  I mean, what's up with all the ads if I'm paying for this experience?  I could get ads with free email tons of places.

And the answer now seems to be that this was AOL just putting all those ads in place for when it inevitably went free.  So, yay.  I'm glad I don't have to pay anymore, and can still keep my journal and email addresses (which enables AOL to keep using me to get its advertising out there).  Everybody wins. 

I hope.

I Blame Microsoft

I have a couple of email accounts that are, or -- more precisely -- have been spam-free.  This because I don't let them out on the internet.  Actually, I let them out on the internet quite a lot, but only when I'm buying stuff from reputable companies.  Companies that don't sell their customer lists to people who want me to buy their penny stocks or penis enlargers.

The other day, I was playing Bespelled over at zone.msn.com, and I stupidly wanted it to save my high score so that I'd have a record of it.  (Idiot.  Should've just written it down if was that important.)  So I registered with msn using one of those spam-free address.

Two or three days later, and I've got spam coming out of my ears.  There's nobody else I can blame for this -- nowhere else that the address has been so that one of those annoying bots could get to it.  This was totally because I registered with msn.  Weasels.