I've been thinking a lot about television. Specifically, about what's on the television.
3 Law and Orders
3 CSIs
2 NCISes
Cold Case
Criminal Minds
Numb3rs
Monk
Lie to Me
The Mentalist
Castle
FlashForward
The Forgotten
24
Bones
even Psych
... and that's not even counting Cops and America's Most Wanted.
Look, I love a good police procedural as much as the next guy, but does anyone think 20 hours of these per week is a bit, well, much?
I have this theory -- it isn't a perfect theory (and it isn't a well-researched one, either) -- but I posit that there's a reason for this.
24 premiered in November 2001. And I expect the idea for that puppy had been percolating around for long before two months. But what a remarkable coincidence that shortly after terrorist attacks made everyone in America feel unsafe and uncertain, TV comes along with a freakin' Counter Terrorist Unit that is chock full of people who are able to make those hard decisions in order to get shit done. Damn. That's some good watchin' for a twitchy population.
I particularly like the idea of shows like Numb3rs and Castle, where it isn't exclusively police who are doing the crime-solving. "Yes, mathematician or novelist, you too can be part of the law enforcement effort." It's like we're all joining the same team -- and in applying our own unique talents to the problems at hand, we civilians can be just as good at crime-solving.
Think back to before 9/11. Think back to Rodney King and the riots -- and the time when we generally viewed the police with suspicion. Think about six Police Academy movies, when cops were humorously incompetent and only succeeded by accident. That sort of thing wouldn't fly now, because there's something in our collective subconscious that wants to see law enforcement be efficient and successful -- even against incredible odds.
I wonder how much longer we'll need this many shows to make us feel safe.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Four Hour Celebrity Countdown
Chatting with my mother (via cellphone) while driving home from work today (hands-free headpiece), she informs me that my horoscope was interesting today. ("Really? You read my horoscope?" Apparently, she does -- when the horoscopes are on the same page as the crossword.)
And, according to her local paper, today I am to have "an impact on the life of a celebrity."
My first thought was that I'd better drive extra carefully, because I imagine the most likely way I'll impact the life of a celebrity is doing 70 mph down the 210.
Well, I made it home with the A-List intact, leaving me with less than four hours to have an impact on a celebrity's life.
What was kinda funny about it is that my mother and I each had completely different takes on how what I do affects the lives of the rich and famous. I immediately thought "my day job," while she immediately thought "my evening job."
Yes, yes, I'm an A-student by day and a hooker by nig--
No, wait, that's not it. Lawyer by day; theatre critic by night. (Less, er, glamorous, I know.)
Now, as a theatre critic, I do, on occasion, review the work of famous people -- although, since when celebrities do stage work, they generally do it someplace other than an under 99-seat theatre in L.A., my reviews (which are written for a website, as opposed to one of the major newspapers) are not what they stay up late on opening night to read. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite pleased with my place in the L.A. theatrical community. (And, on occasion, I'll get some feedback indicating a show was improved by something I said, which generally makes me soar for about a week.) But one of my reviews impact the life of a celebrity? Not Bloody Likely.
As a lawyer, though -- I rarely blog about my work. In fact, I pretty much never blog about my work. I'm a happy little cog in the California wheels of justice (I would be a happier cog if we didn't have mandatory furloughs). But I'm also an anonymous cog; no documents ever leave the office with my signature on them (and I'm totally cool with that). I'm a part of the process of creating judicial opinions which interpret the law. Sometimes the cases that I work on impact only the specific parties to the case; at other times, the cases set forth general principles of law that are applicable statewide (or until a higher court says differently). So, could something I've worked on impact the life of a celebrity? Sure, it could.
Of course, I'll never know if it does. And they'll never know I was involved.
And, according to her local paper, today I am to have "an impact on the life of a celebrity."
My first thought was that I'd better drive extra carefully, because I imagine the most likely way I'll impact the life of a celebrity is doing 70 mph down the 210.
Well, I made it home with the A-List intact, leaving me with less than four hours to have an impact on a celebrity's life.
What was kinda funny about it is that my mother and I each had completely different takes on how what I do affects the lives of the rich and famous. I immediately thought "my day job," while she immediately thought "my evening job."
Yes, yes, I'm an A-student by day and a hooker by nig--
No, wait, that's not it. Lawyer by day; theatre critic by night. (Less, er, glamorous, I know.)
Now, as a theatre critic, I do, on occasion, review the work of famous people -- although, since when celebrities do stage work, they generally do it someplace other than an under 99-seat theatre in L.A., my reviews (which are written for a website, as opposed to one of the major newspapers) are not what they stay up late on opening night to read. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite pleased with my place in the L.A. theatrical community. (And, on occasion, I'll get some feedback indicating a show was improved by something I said, which generally makes me soar for about a week.) But one of my reviews impact the life of a celebrity? Not Bloody Likely.
As a lawyer, though -- I rarely blog about my work. In fact, I pretty much never blog about my work. I'm a happy little cog in the California wheels of justice (I would be a happier cog if we didn't have mandatory furloughs). But I'm also an anonymous cog; no documents ever leave the office with my signature on them (and I'm totally cool with that). I'm a part of the process of creating judicial opinions which interpret the law. Sometimes the cases that I work on impact only the specific parties to the case; at other times, the cases set forth general principles of law that are applicable statewide (or until a higher court says differently). So, could something I've worked on impact the life of a celebrity? Sure, it could.
Of course, I'll never know if it does. And they'll never know I was involved.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Coming Clean
So, I was tipped off (by our new friend Janiece) to something called Blog Share. The concept (which I think is absolutely brilliant) is that you sign up, write an anonymous post, send it to Blog Share Central, receive in return someone else's anonymous post, and post it in your blog on Blog Share Day. In other words, you're an anonymous guest blogger at someone else's blog, while someone else is an anonymous guest blogger at your blog. You get to write something that, for one reason or another, you'd like to write, but you wouldn't necessarily want it written at your blog, where folks would know it's you. Sort of like Post Secret but on a really big postcard.
I signed up immediately. There's just so much stuff I'd like to write that would fit the bill, I couldn't decide what to write and send off to Blog Share. And then, because I'm me, I actually drafted something in which I tried to change my writing style, so that I wouldn't be recognized. (As though folks who read me here are going to go off and read every Blog Share post and try to hunt me down. Well, I hope you go off and read every Blog Share post, because I read a few from the last time this was done and they really do seem delightful.) (And there's still time for you to sign up if you're inclined to participate.)
But, here's the thing. When going through all of the random things which I could send to Blog Share, I realized that I've been holding out on you fine folks. There are definitely some things which I could blog about here, but haven't done so because they're embarrassing or silly or whatever. Well, no more. In an effort to reduce my list of Possible Things to Blog Share down to something manageable, it's time to just man up and spill. So. In no particular order:
1. Sometimes I look at my cat, and I'll be amazed that this adorable little furry being is moving around without batteries. I get all "wonder of life" about her, and then I think it's curious that I don't get that way about babies.
2. My only familiarity with current popular music is what I see on Dancing with the Stars or in TV commercials. I think Kevin Rudolf's "Let it Rock" (without the guest rapper bit) is the best song in years.
3. Sometimes I'll think, "You know, that's something I'll probably want to work out with a therapist," but I've never bothered to make an appointment.
4. You can pretty much replace "therapist" with "dentist" in the above sentence, and it will also be true.
5. There is a dress in my closet that hasn't fit in years, and has little chance of ever doing so. I keep it because it is my "lucky" dress.
6. I don't believe in fate, but I don't not believe in it either.
7. I have very flimsy curtains; I'm pretty sure the postman has seen me naked on weekends.
8. I am over 40 and still lust after cute actors. I feel better about this when I lust after actors who appear age-appropriate. (I am relieved to discover Simon Baker is just a teeny bit younger than me.)
9. I do some of my best work when I am insanely pissed off. It would be bad if my boss knew this.
10. I can't think of a tenth thing, and it's driving me as crazy Monk with a box of spilled dominoes.
I signed up immediately. There's just so much stuff I'd like to write that would fit the bill, I couldn't decide what to write and send off to Blog Share. And then, because I'm me, I actually drafted something in which I tried to change my writing style, so that I wouldn't be recognized. (As though folks who read me here are going to go off and read every Blog Share post and try to hunt me down. Well, I hope you go off and read every Blog Share post, because I read a few from the last time this was done and they really do seem delightful.) (And there's still time for you to sign up if you're inclined to participate.)
But, here's the thing. When going through all of the random things which I could send to Blog Share, I realized that I've been holding out on you fine folks. There are definitely some things which I could blog about here, but haven't done so because they're embarrassing or silly or whatever. Well, no more. In an effort to reduce my list of Possible Things to Blog Share down to something manageable, it's time to just man up and spill. So. In no particular order:
1. Sometimes I look at my cat, and I'll be amazed that this adorable little furry being is moving around without batteries. I get all "wonder of life" about her, and then I think it's curious that I don't get that way about babies.
2. My only familiarity with current popular music is what I see on Dancing with the Stars or in TV commercials. I think Kevin Rudolf's "Let it Rock" (without the guest rapper bit) is the best song in years.
3. Sometimes I'll think, "You know, that's something I'll probably want to work out with a therapist," but I've never bothered to make an appointment.
4. You can pretty much replace "therapist" with "dentist" in the above sentence, and it will also be true.
5. There is a dress in my closet that hasn't fit in years, and has little chance of ever doing so. I keep it because it is my "lucky" dress.
6. I don't believe in fate, but I don't not believe in it either.
7. I have very flimsy curtains; I'm pretty sure the postman has seen me naked on weekends.
8. I am over 40 and still lust after cute actors. I feel better about this when I lust after actors who appear age-appropriate. (I am relieved to discover Simon Baker is just a teeny bit younger than me.)
9. I do some of my best work when I am insanely pissed off. It would be bad if my boss knew this.
10. I can't think of a tenth thing, and it's driving me as crazy Monk with a box of spilled dominoes.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Today's Lesson
After spending 20 minutes downloading AOL's software onto my computer (something I'd sworn, years ago, I'd never do again) just so I'd be able to "unsend" an email which really needed to be unsent, let me share with you the wisdom acquired by this little incident:
1. Take the high road.
2. Take the high road.
3. Always, always take the high road.
1. Take the high road.
2. Take the high road.
3. Always, always take the high road.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Free Toothpaste?!
I use a discontinued toothbrush -- a Sonicare Intelliclean, which was the result of some sort of partnership between Philips and Crest. It uses its own special Crest toothpaste that you sorta load into the toothbrush with little toothpaste cartridges. The toothbrushes are pretty hard to find (I had to get a replacement off eBay when my first one died), but I quite like them. For a time, finding the toothpaste was also a bit of PITA, but apparently someone has started selling it again. I'm nearly out, and I saw some toothpaste on Amazon. Great! A box of replacement cartridges was $25. But a twin-pack was $35. Clearly, I want the twin-pack.
I order the twin-pack.
Today, my (standard) big-box-from-Amazon-with-something-tiny-in-it arrives via the UPS man. I open the box and find, within, a single box of toothpaste.
I write Amazon customer service. I point out that I clearly purchased a two-pack. I ask them if they'd be so kind as to send me a second pack of toothpaste.
I received a reply. The salient points (each of which appeared to be cut-and-pasted from some Manual On Customer Complaints) were:
1. Sorry you're not happy.
2. Although your order was fulfilled by Amazon, your product was actually sold by someone else, and we can't control the inventory [although both single and double-packs still appear to be for sale on Amazon]
3. Because it's toothpaste, we can't accept the return [although it's in untouched cartridges still in a factory sealed package]
and
4. We'll be crediting your account the entire $35 purchase price.
This struck me as inefficient in a whole lot of ways. Clearly, sending me a second pack of toothpaste might have been a good way to resolve this. Offering me, say, a partial refund of half the purchase price (since I got half the toothpaste) also seemed reasonable. But, no, they told me to keep the toothpaste and they'd give me back my $35.
I came online to 'blog this as remarkably inefficient from an economic point of view. I mean, sure, free toothpaste -- but if someone in customer service was actually permitted to think for himself and engage me in dialogue, we probably could have reached a solution that was happy for everyone, rather than having them write off the entire purchase as a loss.
That was my purpose. About halfway through the post, I thought, "well, since the toothpaste is mine now, I might as well open up the box."
The toothpaste expired in August.
I order the twin-pack.
Today, my (standard) big-box-from-Amazon-with-something-tiny-in-it arrives via the UPS man. I open the box and find, within, a single box of toothpaste.
I write Amazon customer service. I point out that I clearly purchased a two-pack. I ask them if they'd be so kind as to send me a second pack of toothpaste.
I received a reply. The salient points (each of which appeared to be cut-and-pasted from some Manual On Customer Complaints) were:
1. Sorry you're not happy.
2. Although your order was fulfilled by Amazon, your product was actually sold by someone else, and we can't control the inventory [although both single and double-packs still appear to be for sale on Amazon]
3. Because it's toothpaste, we can't accept the return [although it's in untouched cartridges still in a factory sealed package]
and
4. We'll be crediting your account the entire $35 purchase price.
This struck me as inefficient in a whole lot of ways. Clearly, sending me a second pack of toothpaste might have been a good way to resolve this. Offering me, say, a partial refund of half the purchase price (since I got half the toothpaste) also seemed reasonable. But, no, they told me to keep the toothpaste and they'd give me back my $35.
I came online to 'blog this as remarkably inefficient from an economic point of view. I mean, sure, free toothpaste -- but if someone in customer service was actually permitted to think for himself and engage me in dialogue, we probably could have reached a solution that was happy for everyone, rather than having them write off the entire purchase as a loss.
That was my purpose. About halfway through the post, I thought, "well, since the toothpaste is mine now, I might as well open up the box."
The toothpaste expired in August.
My house smells like poop
I decided to work at home today, so brought a big pile of work home from the office last night. As I pulled up, I realized this might have been a mistake. The gardener seeded my lawn with winter rye and covered it with steer manure. (He'd made a point that it was steer manure, as though I should be particular impressed by this.) So, quite naturally, my lawn (and therefore my house) is scented with Eau du merde.
The very sad thing is that I'm becoming acclimated to it.
The very sad thing is that I'm becoming acclimated to it.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The answer, by the way
Wire in the Blood (Seasons One through Five)
Firefly (Complete)
Serenity
Ashes to Ashes (half of season one and counting)
is the list of everything I've watched while working out on my elliptical machine, since acquiring it back in April. It adds up to over 44 hours of working out, which isn't bad, really, considering I was barely able to do 12 minutes a day when I started. (Am now up to "at least 20," and have been known to go as high as 28 when the show is interesting and I'm not late for work. Which, by the way, pretty much comes down to Firefly on a weekend.)
I do work out when I'm late for work. I work out when I'm sick, too. The only things that would prevent me from doing my 20 minutes on that thing every morning are: (1) not being here; (2) having a plane to catch; or (3) court. (And, so far, I've woken up early enough on court days to fit it in there.) There's a very good reason for this -- I'm pretty good at starting habits, but I find they're very easy to break. And if I let myself get away with an excuse even once, they'll keep snowballing until the elliptical machine turns into a very expense clothing valet.
The TV helps immensely. I have the elliptical aimed directly at a television, with a (region-free, bless it) DVD player hooked up. And since I'm watching programs I really want to watch, I actually look forward to the exercise portion of my day. This is key. In fact, since I'm almost done with Ashes to Ashes (another week ought to do it), I've gone ahead and ordered more TV dvds to watch. Which I'm actually looking forward to so much, I may actually increase my workout time, just to get to them already.
I also enjoy the results. Not to say I've lost a ton of weight -- I've rather annoyingly plateaued and am struggling to get my body back into weight-loss mode. But it has definitely helped with my endurance. Indeed, when my folks were out here, we went for a walk to the top of my street (where you pretty much hit mountain) and I was quite pleased that I didn't have to stop for breath nearly as often as they did. (As for why I'm pleased that I'm in better shape than people in their seventies, well, I guess the desire to exceed one's parents' accomplishments is eternal. Even when it's petty.)
Firefly (Complete)
Serenity
Ashes to Ashes (half of season one and counting)
is the list of everything I've watched while working out on my elliptical machine, since acquiring it back in April. It adds up to over 44 hours of working out, which isn't bad, really, considering I was barely able to do 12 minutes a day when I started. (Am now up to "at least 20," and have been known to go as high as 28 when the show is interesting and I'm not late for work. Which, by the way, pretty much comes down to Firefly on a weekend.)
I do work out when I'm late for work. I work out when I'm sick, too. The only things that would prevent me from doing my 20 minutes on that thing every morning are: (1) not being here; (2) having a plane to catch; or (3) court. (And, so far, I've woken up early enough on court days to fit it in there.) There's a very good reason for this -- I'm pretty good at starting habits, but I find they're very easy to break. And if I let myself get away with an excuse even once, they'll keep snowballing until the elliptical machine turns into a very expense clothing valet.
The TV helps immensely. I have the elliptical aimed directly at a television, with a (region-free, bless it) DVD player hooked up. And since I'm watching programs I really want to watch, I actually look forward to the exercise portion of my day. This is key. In fact, since I'm almost done with Ashes to Ashes (another week ought to do it), I've gone ahead and ordered more TV dvds to watch. Which I'm actually looking forward to so much, I may actually increase my workout time, just to get to them already.
I also enjoy the results. Not to say I've lost a ton of weight -- I've rather annoyingly plateaued and am struggling to get my body back into weight-loss mode. But it has definitely helped with my endurance. Indeed, when my folks were out here, we went for a walk to the top of my street (where you pretty much hit mountain) and I was quite pleased that I didn't have to stop for breath nearly as often as they did. (As for why I'm pleased that I'm in better shape than people in their seventies, well, I guess the desire to exceed one's parents' accomplishments is eternal. Even when it's petty.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)