Well, I thought it was funny

OK, this is probably going to take longer to set up than it's worth, but it gave me a great big laugh this morning, and I've been giggling at it for the rest of the day.

I've been watching the new Doctor Who ("new Who" to its friends) on the SciFi channel.  Damned entertaining.  It's a British series, so we're a bit behind on getting it in the US.  The season two DVD is not available until January in the US.  But it is available in the UK in just a couple days.  And I just happen to have a code-free DVD player (which enables me to watch DVDs from other countries).  And I might just deserve a treat within a couple days ...

... I'll probably know on Wednesday.  I got called for jury duty last week and I'm part of panel that will go through jury selection on Wednesday.  A panel for a 30-day trial.  That's 30 court days, people -- six weeks.  And with time off for Thanksgiving and Christmas, we're looking at a trial that might run into freakin' January.  I am not happy about this.  So, I've decided that, if I get stuck on this jury, I'll treat myself to the British release of the season two new Who DVD.

Naturally, this involved looking for said item on Amazon's UK site.  Which led me to the whole "Doctor Who store" on Amazon's UK site.  Because, really, what's a shiny new version of a cult favorite TV show without calendars, action figures, and all sorts of other merchandise?

Which brings us to the sonic screwdriver.  For which I must explain a teensy bit about Doctor Who.  The protagonist is a dude from another planet, who books around the space/time continuum in a space/time machine, having various and sundry adventures.  (Mostly involving aliens who conveniently speak with British accents, and a surprising number of visits to London throughout the ages.  Funny, really, I don't think I ever noticed how odd it was that the space aliens coming to Earth always landed in America until I started watching a series produced in another country.)  He's from a race they call "Time Lords" -- again, the show is British, they can call themselves Lords without it sounding nearly as pretentious as when Michael Flatley does it.

Now, the Doctor (as he's called) isn't the sort who goes around shooting and/or sleeping with every alien he encounters.  He's more of a thinker than a fighter -- more of a Sam Beckett than a Captain Kirk -- and his main tool of choice is the "sonic screwdriver."  When activated, a pretty blue light comes out of it, capable of opening any lock he's got to get through, or sealing up any lock behind him (when the evil aliens are on the other side of the door).  It's actually quite the multi-purpose tool -- sort of a space-age Swiss Army Knife.  And, occasionally, it can be used as a weapon, although not a real blow-big-holes-in-the-bad-guys sort of thing.  (Leading to one memorable encounter wherein the Doctor and a space cowboy type were standing back-to-back, trying to fend off a group of approaching baddies.  The space cowboy takes out his great big sonic blaster gun, and leans over his shoulder to ask the Doctor what type of big ol' sonic weapon he's got -- hopefully rattling off the names of big sonic shoot-'em-ups.  The Doctor looks at his sonic screwdriver and says, rather defensively, "Look, it's sonic, ok?")

All right then.  Here's me, poking through the Doctor Who store on Amazon.co.uk. 

They've got the Electronic Sonic Screwdriver, which is a pen that writes in UV ink that reveals when you turn on the blue light.  They've got another model that just lights up the room with its eerie blue light.  Both perfectly acceptable merchandise tie-ins.

....and then they've got ...

The Sonic Screwdriver Ultimate Bath Gift Set

I kid you not.  Load it up with "bath fizzers" which you then shoot out.  "Finish your Dr Who bath experience by washing with the Intergalactic Cleansing Agent."  And, what tops it all off is the slogan:  "become a bathroom Time Lord!"