The Diet Would Be Easy ...

... if I'd get my damn food.

Last night, I went with a friend to Islands to get a burger.  No fries.  No Coke.  Just a burger.  She got a quesadilla.

So, my friend's quesadilla arrives, as does my burger.  Except my burger has the wrong sort of cheese on it.  I'd said "cheddar" twice, and the burger shows up with swiss on it.

So the dude takes my burger back and says it'll just be a minute.  By the time I get my burger, my friend is pretty much done with her quesadilla.

Dude tries to make up for it by offering us a free "Chocolate Lava" dessert -- a fudge brownie with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream on it.  Uh, no.  The two of us do not want to share a 1440 calorie dessert.  (The burger was bad enough.)  But thanks anyway.  I guess I'll just have to settle for his apology.

Move on to today.  I go to the grocery store around 11:30 and buy a ton of groceries (nice healthy things).  I also buy a sandwich.  Fresh made at the deli counter just for me.  After I get home and unpack the groceries, I sit down to enjoy my sandwich.  Problem:  I have no sandwich.  I check my receipt -- I was charged for the sandwich.  It just never made it into my bag.

I drive back to the store.  I see a line of, like, 15 people at the deli counter and think I don't really want to wait another half hour for another sandwich, so I'd just like my money back.  I go to the cashier with the shortest line -- this happens to be the checkstand where I'd bought my groceries, but there's a different guy there now.  A supervisor.  I explain that I bought some groceries and a sandwich and I don't have the sandwich.  He immediately starts patting the top of his cash register.  "Where's my sandwich?" he asks.  He'd put the sandwich on top of the register.  Now it isn't there.

Loudspeaker over the store:  "Will the person who took the sandwich from checkstand six please return it."

No answer.

He repeats it.

Nada.

He then goes on the loudspeaker and tells the service deli to call him.  We wait for the service deli to call.

At this point, another customer walks up, holding a bag of groceries.  She had the sandwich in her bag.  Bought and paid for.  She didn't even know what kind of sandwich it was, but she knew it was fresh, and someone sold it to her.  She offers it back.  The supervisor is all, "No, no, you keep that."  Tells me he'll have the deli make me a replacement sandwich. 

He gets the deli on the phone.  Tells them to make me "whatever sandwich I want, on the house."  Which is nice and all, except I don't want some big, expensive sandwich.  I just want the sandwich I'd bought for lunch.  An hour ago.