Sunday, February 8, 2009

Or it'll make a good 'blog post

While in CVS the other day, I found myself face-to-face with a package of "Nad's."

"Ah," I thought, "The poorly named hair removal product I've seen in all those Infomercials."

(Seriously. I understand it's named after some Australian woman and all. But do we really want to buy a product that, for a misplaced apostrophe, would be named 'nads? Especially when the purpose of the product is forcibly removing hair from the root? Yeah, I can imagine that this sells really well with men.)

But, y'know, I really do hate shaving my legs. And the box tantalizingly offers results of "up to 8 weeks."

So, I figure I'll give it a shot. Worst case scenario, I can blog about it.

Take the box home; open it up. You've got five fabric strips, a flat plastic stick that serves as an applicator, and a jar of ... green goo. It's really, really thick. Science must look at this and go "liquid? solid? I'm not entirely sure." And it's the color of green that says "tastes like sour apple," but with a consistency that says, "you don't want to find out."

So, I follow the directions, which require applying a thin layer to an area on your leg with the plastic stick.

Let me tell you exactly how sticky this stuff is. It's so sticky that, while you're applying it, you get stray leg hairs on the stick. In other words, the goo is already grabbing hairs and pulling them out, just in the act of spreading it.

OK. I've got a thin layer of goo on my leg. Now I put a fabric strip over it, and press downward three or four times as directed. The moment of truth arrives; now I've got to pull my skin taut and yank this damn thing off. The quicker the better, according to the box. I look at the cat. She looks back at me. OK, I think, let's go for it.

Strip yanked; didn't hurt at all. I look at the strip -- covered with goo and my leg hair -- just like in the infomercials. I am impressed. The instructions tell me I can keep using the same strip without adding more goo, until it stops sticking. I do this. The more I press down on the strip, the more the goo starts peeping through the back of the strip, making my hand gooey. It's messy, but it works.

After two sessions with this stuff, here's my report:

1. Use it before you shower, otherwise you'll stick to everything all day long. The goo appears magically attracted to surfaces to which you have not actually applied it.

2. Don't exactly know why they bother having you put the goo on your leg, since, once you first use the strip, all of the goo has been transferred to the strip, and you just keep re-using it. Why not sell pre-goo-ed strips instead? Much tidier.

3. It works just like on TV -- the first time you use it, it does clear a nice path. However, the human leg contains more than a single fabric-strip-sized patch of hair. You need to reach that strip in all sorts of exciting angles. (And I'm not even talking about a bikini wax. CVS had a "Brazilian" hair removal product which actually came with its own mirror. The mind boggles.) But if you're really going to do this right, you probably need a friend. A very good friend.

4. I don't care how many times you can re-use them; five strips is not enough. And waiting to wash and dry the strips before you can finish the task is a real waste.

5. I seriously doubt it's going to last 8 weeks. I'll be surprised if it lasts 8 days.

6. It still has a phenomenally stupid name.

1 comment:

Wil said...

I once aided a friend in the use of "Nads." I managed to find all sorts of locales that hurt to have the hair removed. We were very good friends.

Now we aren't.