Vote, ya moron.

All right, that's IT.

I have tried to make this journal my cheerful, happy non-confrontational place, but sometimes a girl has just gotta blow her top.  And I am freakin' sick and tired of hearing (and reading) excuses from people as to why they don't bother voting.  Bottom line:  If you don't vote (assuming you are legally entitled to do so), you are a poopyhead.  There, I said it.

OK, first off, yes, I do have the right to call you a poopyhead for not voting -- because your decision to not vote affects me.  Look, I don't mind if the candidate I don't want to win ends up winning if he's actually the people's choice.  (I won't be happy about it or anything, but if that's the will of the people, I'm good with it.)  What I can't deal with is if the wrong guy wins because the people who could have made a difference were too stupid or apathetic to get out there and vote.

Now, here are some of the so-called reasons I've heard for not voting, and why they won't fly:

- I'm not informed, and I don't want to cast an uninformed vote

OK, first of all, let me be really clear here.  I'm only talking about the Presidential election.  That one -- and, somewhat less directly, your votes for senators and congresspeople -- are your only votes that will affect me.  Frankly, I don't give a damn whether you vote for your local representative on your School Board.  What I'm talking about here is that you go to your polling place and knock one little chad out of your ballot.

Now, maybe you feel like you aren't informed enough about the two main candidates for President.  Go out and get informed.  Geez, people, you live in the United States of America.  On a daily basis, you get the benefits of its highways, its air traffic controllers, its minimum wage laws, its border patrol officers, its due process protections and thousands of other goodies that come with citizenship.  Do your freakin' duty and get informed.

It isn't difficult.  Click on George W. Bush's website or John Kerry's website.  Both set forth the candidates' positions on pretty much any issue you'd be curious about.  If you're too lazy to actually poke around a website, you can just go to Presidentmatch.com which (if you click on "compare") will give you a great big chart on where the candidates stand, or (if you click on "Q&A") will ask you what you think about the issues, and then tell you which candidate best fits your feelings. 

What I'm trying to say here is the whole "I'm not informed" thing won't fly, because it is so astonishingly easy to get informed.  Less than 30 seconds with the PresidentMatch Chart and you'll easily be able to figure out who shares your views on whatever issues matter the most to you.

- I don't live in a "battleground state," so there's no point in me voting

I blame polls for this one.  And all of the polls are based on people who are expected to vote.  Bottom line is that the majority of people in any state are not expected to vote -- and if they'd just go out and vote, they could turn any poll result upside-down.  If you and the rest of your non-voting pals went out and got yourselves counted as people who would be expected to vote, well then, congratulations, you're in a battleground state.

And one other thing -- we don't determine elections from poll results.  If we did, once there was a clear majority in the polls, we could just inaugurate the winner as president and not bother with the whole voting thing.  But we do bother with the election because polls are not infallible.  So ignore the polls and go out there and vote on the assumption that your vote will matter -- because if nearly everyone in a "blue" or "red" state didn't vote on the assumption that the election was already determined in their state, the few people who actually went out and voted would decide the whole thing.

- There's so many lies out there, I can't figure out the truth

Yes, there are lies out there.  Public Action Committees are running attack ads against both candidates which are, in some cases, not true.  And candidates may say things they think you want to hear, rather than what they actually believe.  And related to that are campaign promises which can't possibly be kept -- because the President can't get new laws passed without the consent of Congress.  So, yes, there's a lot of bull out there you have to dig through.

That said, there are some significant differences between the candidates and their philosophies.  When you read that (for instance), Bush wants to outlaw partial-birth abortions while John Kerry does not -- you can pretty much take that difference to the bank.  Grab another issue you care about:  Iraq, taxes, minimum wage, gay rights, privatizing social security ... these dudes have really divergent positions on these issues.  And even though, if elected, they might not be able to put into effect all of the things they stand for, that doesn't mean these aren't actually the positions of the candidates and what they would like to accomplish.

So, put the attack ads to one side, realize the limits to campaign promises, and look at the truth.  Then cast an informed vote.

- I don't like either of the candidates

Welcome to America, buddy.

Seriously.  Nobody agrees with either of the candidates on everything.  There's very likely at least one thing about "your" candidate that makes you want to vomit.

But, look at it this way -- that guy is "your" candidate because there's even more stuff about the other guy that you vehemently disagree with.  Don't you owe it to yourself, and your country, to do the best you can to make sure the guy you hate the most isn't elected?  Suck it up and vote for the guy you hate the least.

And here's the bonus -- if the people who don't vote start voting in droves, the candidates will realize that people like you are part of the electorate, and therefore people they should be catering to.  In other words, if you vote, you're more likely to get candidates who are more appealing to you in the future.  If you don't vote, nobody will ever bother running a candidate you'd really like, since, as far as the political parties are concerned, you and your interests don't exist.

- I don't have time to vote

Register and request an absentee ballot.  Fill it out one evening in the comfort of your home and mail that puppy in.  Easy as pie.