Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Shiftin' Into High Gear

I have two speeds:  Normal and overdrive.

It always surprises me when I come across people who do not have that second speed.  I'd sorta thought that if I did, everyone else must.  Like it comes hardwired in your DNA or something.  Or, y'know, that everyone responds to adrenaline the same way.

Apparently, not everyone does.  I've met some lawyers who have only one deliberate, plodding speed.  One of them was a trial lawyer -- which I really did not understand, as you've gotta kick it up sometimes when you're in trial, and his inability to do this really drove me up the damn wall.  (Especially because I was working under his supervision at the time.)  It really felt all "tortoise and the hare" -- like I was this furtive little bunny pouncing all around trying to get stuff done and he was sitting there slowly chewing on a blade of grass.

Anyway, my current boss (bless him) doesn't really care when I get to work as long as the work gets done.  The exceptions are the two days out of every month when we have court hearings.  I have to be there at 9:30, when the hearings start.

Last night, before going to bed, I set my alarm for 7:30.  My alarm is always set for 7:30, but this time I meant it.  No hitting snooze for an hour.  Actually have to get up and get ready, so I could leave at 8:30 to make sure I'm at the office on time.

Here's where it gets exciting.  Right around a half hour after I went to bed, I was in that hazy half-awake state, and I thought, "Holy cow!  I didn't set the alarm."  And I looked over at the alarm clock, and I didn't see the light indicating it was set.  I almost turned on the light before I adjusted it, but I didn't want the cat to think I was awake (if I turned on the light, she'd come bounding in wanting to play) so I just adjusted it in the dark, and went to sleep.  Confident in the fact that I'd now set the alarm, I slept pretty soundly.

Until 8:44, in fact, when I woke up of my own accord.  I looked over at the clock and it took about half a second to process.  The alarm did not go off.  And my next thought -- the thought that, apparently, people without that second speed don't have, was:  I can do this.  I bound out of bed.  I make my bed (remember, the place has to look good in case a prospective buyer comes along).  While I'm doing this, the thought goes by that either:  (a) the alarm had been perfectly set before I went to bed, and I stupidly turned it off; or (b)  it was never set and I'd dreamt the whole thing.  Either way, I'm a moron.

No time for a shower -- just did a once-over with one of them pre-moistened cloths you use to remove make-up.  Plug in the emergency electric razor and shave what needs to be shaved.  Jam toothbrush in mouth and brush teeth.  (My toothbrush is an electric model with a 2 minute timer.  No time for that.  40 seconds of brushing, tops.  Actually, it would have been only 30, but ten seconds in, I realized my teeth would get cleaner if I actually put toothpaste on the brush.)  I've already figured out the outfit, and I throw it upon my person.  I spray my hair with Ouidad Botanical Boost, a really spiffy product for situations like this.  Grab my lunch.  Throw cat food in the bowl.  Out the door by 8:55.  From bed to door in eleven minutes.  This has got to be some kind of record.

Traffic cooperated enough that I actually made it to court just as they were starting. 

Then the adrenaline left, and I nearly fell asleep.


lanurseprn said...

WOW you're fast!!! GOOD JOB!!

helmswondermom said...

Whew!  I'm winded just reading about it!