Haven't posted much lately as I have not had the best possible start to the New Year, as it were.
It's sorta been a "one thing after another" sort of thing. To the point where items that are generally shrugged off as a minor inconvenience (or even laughed at) now seem like part of the overall conspiracy to just beat me down, ya know?
I mean, yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment at an office LITERALLY five minutes away, and it took me a half hour to get there. A HALF HOUR. Because between me and the doctor is the Metro (light rail) track -- and the Metro was somehow broken so the signal arms were down on EVERY INTERSECTION between me and the doctor's office. Had to drive WAY out of the way in order to reach a part of town where the track went under the street, so's I could get to the other side of the tracks.
OK. Frustrating? sure. But I did get to the doc on time (had left early for some reason) so it's no biggie. But, y'know, when colored by the fun and excitement of my boyfriend breaking up with me and the hole the plumber cut in my bathroom ceiling, it seems like Just Another Damn Thing.
I'm trying to keep a little perspective here. Especially with a minor little earthquake waking me up at 6:30 this morning -- just to remind me that things are oh so much worse for oh so many people. I mean, if I take a deep breath and think about it, I'm still, overall, in a situation where I damn well ought to be outrageously happy with my life. (And, yes, I knocked on wood when I typed that.)
I guess I'm in a place where I'm not entirely sure what I ought to be feeling right now. I mean, compared to the way my life usually goes, I've had me some shitty days of late, and I figure the right, healthy thing to do is to be genuinely depressed, frustrated and/or peeved about things. While at the same time, in a great big overall sense, I still feel outrageously lucky in a big picture sense, and it seems almost wrong to be walking around in a depressed daze, taking everything into account.
So, really. How bummed should I really be?
2 comments:
Don't you wish sometimes that you could just wallow in whatever ick you wanted to for a while without the benefit of perspective? Because no matter how bad (generic) our lives appear, it is still way better than the vast majority of the world.
You should stop by my journal sometime. There's something to depress you. I liked your outlook of feeling slightly ashamed for feeling depressed, when you know you are so lucky to be where you are in the grand scheme of things. If I could adopt an attitude like that, I'd become one of those happy people I am so frightened by. - Marissa
Post a Comment