Homework: Sing Out, Louise

For this week's homework, our fearless leader gives us:

Weekend Assignment #45: It's karaoke time. Pick a song to sing and explain why you chose it. Note that not everyone sings the song you expect them to sing: I remember being at a karaoke bar one time and watching a six-foot bald guy with a gravelly voice and a tattoo on his neck sing Olivia Newton John's "Have You Never Been Mellow?" And it was brilliant. So by all means, reach for the stars here. This isn't American Idol.

Extra Credit: Recall the worst karaoke performance you ever heard (or, if you're brave, ever performed). You can change the names to protect the guilty if you like.

I've never actually karaoked.  I've never been drunk in public.  I believe there is a causal relationship.

Here's the thing:  I love to sing.  And I can't.  Well, not well anyway.  I have about a six-note range, and it took me years to find it, as it wasn't anywhere near where I'd thought it was.  (Hello.  My name is Sharon and I'm an alto.) 

I think that if I'm ever going to inflict my singing on the general public, the song in question is going to have to be more about performance than vocal ability.  And it better be pretty low.

So.  The song I've been toying with (and I've been practicing it in my car, just I case I ever find myself in a mandatory karaoke situation) is "It's in His Kiss" (aka "The Shoop Shoop Song").  Cher's cover of it.  It's big and bold and I can take it down an octave without doing it serious harm.

As for the extra credit, well, um, there was this amusement park "You Sing The Hits" booth, and me, and my college roommate, and an extremely unfortunate decision to sing "Walk Like an Egyptian."  It was beyond disastrous.  I think the only part I got on-key was the back-up "Way-oh"s.  I don't know whatever happened to the cassette, but I hope it involved a sledgehammer.