This Week's Homework: Call Me Imelda

For this week's homework, John Scalzi asks:

Weekend Assignment #49: Congratulations! You've become famous enough to be courted for product endorsements and/or charitable cause spokespersonhood. Which product or charity would you personally endorse?

Extra Credit: A picture of yourself with your beloved product, looking perhaps a little too enthusiastic (i.e., ham it up)

When I first saw this assignment, I thought I'd go with a charity.  But then I really started thinking that I am very nearly the poster child for product loyalty.  Don't believe me?  Here's the poster:

The above collection (and it carries out of the frame -- it ain't easy doing shots like this without a cameraperson) is not, as it happens, every shoe in my closet.

It is, however, every Easy Spirit shoe.  And before you think I'm totally insane, let me quickly note that several pair are more than a decade old, and, in fact, unworn.  That's right, people, I stockpile Easy Spirit Shoes.

See that row of pumps across the front?  Them there are the model called "Feather."  It was one of Easy Spirit's first shoes, and the damn things fit me perfectly.  I loved 'em.  Had a black pair and a navy pair and wore them whenever heels were required.  And then those weas-- Really Nice People at Easy Spirit discontinued the line.  When I found this out, I went on a quest to buy out all remaining stock.  I had friends all over the country dropping by their local Easy Spirit Store and buying every available pair of "Feathers" in my size.  I've been working my way through the amassed collection for the past fifteen years or so.  What you see here are the last eight pairs.  Those cream-colored ones on the far left?  I figure I'll get married in them.

So, there you go.  Easy Spirit Shoes.  The shoes worth hoarding!

(They needn't pay me in cash for the endorsement.  They know what I want.  I'm running out!)