Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Tales From Macy's

Went shopping today.

Tried on a skirt that was labelled "Color may rub off; wash before wearing."
And it also said "Do not machine wash; do not dry clean; spot clean only."
.... no wonder the damn thing was on sale.  I don't think you can ever wear it.

And then I went upstairs to the lingerie department, and I saw a $63 bra.  A bra.  For $63.  And I'm not talking some bizarre crystal-encrusted model made for a Sports Illustrated photo shoot.  I'm not even talking about one of those big ol' whale-bone-corset numbers that brides buy to wear under their wedding gowns.  I'm talking about a regular, run-of-the-mill, wear-it-everyday bra.  Look, I don't want to violate TOS here or anything, but if I'm gonna pay $63 for something to hold my breasts, it damn well better take out the garbage.

On the way out, I stop at one of the makeup counters to ask about a concealer I kinda like.  They've discontinued it, but of course she can sell me the new concealer.  I'm not really interested, but she dots it on my face anyhow.  She then says, "I really hate putting concealer on someone who doesn't wear foundation," and then goes into this sales pitch for her absolutely wonderful foundation.  "But I don't wear foundation," I say.  She is undeterred.  "I call this line our foundation for women who don't like to wear foundation.  It's so lightweight."  Blah, blah, blah.  She's now putting a different shade of concealer on my face, but still going on about the miracle of her foundation.  I'm about to yield and let her throw some of that on me too, when her partner in crime -- the other makeup lady -- joins her to ask a question.  My makeup lady then goes in for the kill.  "Don't you think..." she says to the other makeup lady, "that she would look great in our foundation?"  And the other makeup lady -- who knows a cue when she hears one -- looks at me and says, "It looks terrific on you."  My makeup lady is horrified as she hasn't actually put any foundation on me yet, and says, "I just put the concealer on her and I think she'd look good with the foundation..." but the new lady is on a roll and she's just, "Yes, I saw you putting it on her just now, and it looks wonderful."  I give my makeup lady the "You know, you just lost this sale" look, and head out of the store.


lv2trnscrb said...

When we were in San Diego over Christmas, we were shopping at a store (where we live now only has one mall so its fun to actually see real stores again). Anyway, we found a pair of jeans for $148.00. Those washed out grungy type of jeans. I said "no way". and "who would pay that much for a pair of jeans?" Sadly, someone must if they are offering them for sale.

You are braver than me; I totally avoid even looking at the makeup women and the cosmetic department. I'm so afraid of what they will want to do with my skin and I'm so easily tempted at times to buy things impulsively that its just best to look the other way.


helmswondermom said...

You gotta know when to quit while you're ahead!

andreakingme said...

Bwahahaha! Oh, man. Still trying to find that magical concealer, ay, Z Girl?