The FedEx Follies

I live in a gated complex, with about 20 units in it.  If you're going to leave a package (or a door tag) for me, you really have three choices of where to leave it.  Some parcel deliverers will leave it inside the gate, near (or on top of) all of our mailboxes.  The more determined will walk up to my unit, and leave it right outside my door.  The less enthusiastic won't even open the front gate, and will just leave it outside.

This raises all sorts of problems.  Sure, I'll see a parcel if it is left in any of these locations, as I walk by them all to get into my unit.  The problem arises when the delivery person won't deliver the parcel without a signature, and leaves a tag for me to sign.  I'll sign the tag and leave it exactly where I found it.  But the delivery person who comes the next day might not be looking there for the tag.

This happened when FedEx was trying to deliver, of all things, an empty box.  I had ordered a laptop, which turned out to be defective, and the manufacturer told FedEx to drop off a FedEx box (y'know, not even folded up boxlike -- just flattened) so I could return the computer in it.  They wouldn't leave it without a signature.  (Why?  I have no idea.)  I never did find the first or second door tags.  But I found the third one -- the one saying they've given up making attempts to deliver the box -- on the ground under our mailboxes.  I called FedEx to holler at them.  Also to put on file my deep desire that they just leave all damn parcels outside my door.

Never did get the empty box.  (Ended up UPS'ing the damn thing back to amazon, rather than FedEx'ing it to the manufacturer.)  But, the next few times I ordered stuff to be FedEx'd, it magically appeared on the first day they tried to deliver it, whether I was there to sign for it or not.

Saturday night, I ordered some shoes from Zappos.  Zappos has free (regular) shipping.  They also have a practice of sometimes upgrading you to free overnight shipping.  They did that with my order.  Told me it would be FedEx'd and I'd get it Monday.  Okay!  They're white shoes.  I'll wear a beige skirt to work on Monday and save the white one for Tuesday, when I can try out my new white shoes.

Came home from work on Monday.  No shoes.  A door tag.  Stuck on my mailbox, just inside the gate.  Now, since I know that door tags have previously fallen off the mailbox, I decide to not even remove the tag in order to sign it.  So that I don't de-sticky it or anything.  I take out a pen and sign on the line.  I also fill out the back of the form (no mean feat, while it is still stuck to my mailbox), to give my consent for packages to be left without a signature in perpetuity.

This morning, before work, I checked the mailboxes to make sure the tag was still there.  It was. 

Went to work.  Came home.

OK, who thinks I'm wearing my nice new white shoes right now?

Who thinks there was a second door tag left someplace different?

Who thinks the first tag fell off or otherwise disappeared, only to be replaced by a second tag?

You're all wrong.  The second tag was left on top of the first one.  Stuck right there on top of my signature on the first tag was a second tag requesting my signature.

I called FedEx and asked, not entirely politely, exactly how many signatures it would take to get my shoes.  He put a note in the computer for my parcel to be left at my door.  I asked him if I should sign the second tag too.  He replied, "Couldn't hurt."

On my mailbox is now a cute little stack consisting of two door tags, signed front and back, and a little yellow post-it note reading, "I signed it!"  Perhaps four signatures, a bright yellow note, and a memo in their computer will get me my damn shoes.