I Should Have Figured

If you go to Disneyland,
and you ride the Grizzly River Run at California Adventure
around 4:00 p.m.,
and your raft hits one of those geysers so everyone gets totally drenched,
and you have soaked jeans,
and if, even after trying your best to stand around in the sun to dry them out, they're still wet when you want to leave the park,
and if you decide to buy some sweatpants so you're not driving home in wet jeans,
and if you end up buying men's shorts instead, since the sweatpants are too long for someone of your height,
and if you don't change into the shorts while you're in the park, because you didn't shave your legs as you hadn't planned on displaying them,
and if you decide you'll just change in the car,
and if your car is parked in that monstrous huge parking structure,
and if, after you hike back to your car, you see no other human beings around,
and if you decide to take your bra off, because that's still kinda soggy too,
and if you do that while standing outside your car because it's easier to do the remove-it-through-your-sleeve thing if you've got a lot of room to more around,
and if you then go into the backseat of your car wearing jeans, and come out wearing shorts,
and if you then plop your braless, man-short-wearing self behind the steering wheel ...

... don't be surprised when the Disney Parking Lot Assistance van drives up beside you, because apparently they were watching.