Monday, February 21, 2011

I'll Know...

I go on a lot of First Dates.

I've even done speeddating, which is, like, a dozen first dates in the space of two hours.  And what I learned there is that seven minutes can be a Very Long Time Indeed.

And once, when I was trying desperately to fill a slooooooow seven minutes with conversation, I noticed that the dude across the table was wearing an unusual pendant thingie (do you say "necklace" when it's a guy?), so I commented on it.  

From that point onward, I've generally made an effort to deck myself out in conversation starters when I'm going on a first date.  I'll usually wear an unusual necklace (little flecks of silver in a little glass container -- from a silver mine in New Zealand) and a very unique watch (Disney's Basil of Baker Street). 

You can't miss the watch.  It's actually a man-sized watch so it takes up most of my wrist.  It's big and green has a hand-drawn cartoon character on it.  And if it isn't the only one of its kind, it was certainly the first, and I don't think there's been a huge demand for them since.

(Pause while I google to see if I've ever blogged about the watch.  Google says I haven't.  I find this hard to believe.  Long story short:  The only place where you can get an original Disney-drawn item created just for you is in the watch store at Disneyland (and, perhaps, Disney World).  One year, my tax refund and I went to Disneyland, selected an artist (you get to flip through books of their drawings) and designed what I wanted on a Basil watch.  The artist drew it; it had to get approved by the Disney people (as a proper drawing of the character); and then the drawing was duplicated on a watch.  I got the original drawing, too -- it's framed on my wall.  Now, a copy of the drawing is in the artist's book, so if someone else wants it, they could request it.  But as far as I know, there hasn't actually been a run on these things.)

So, unique watch and fairly unusual necklace.  Worn on nearly every first date.  If you're staring at me looking for conversation starters, those are two things you can safely ask me about. 

Years ago, when I first started doing this, I figured I'd give points for noticing either one; extra points for the watch, because that means my date was looking someplace other than where the necklace hangs.

I have never been asked about either one.  Not ever.

1 comment:

Wil said...

A mesmerizing 'rack'? Just how much cleavage does that little black dress show, anyways?

I know that all of us men are pigs, but that borders on the edge of ridiculous. Surely, some eligible potential beau (single, self-sufficient, employed, non-drooling nose breather) must have observed and commented on the watch and necklace in passing?


As your goyim big (fat) blog-brother that no one (ever) mentions, I have to ask, just who are these chumps you've been speed-dating, anyways?

And why are you even bothering with them? You REALLY can do better.