Tuesday, November 8, 2005

I Have Seen Hell...

... and it's right next to JCPenney.

Went back to the mall today.  (That store that's going out of business dropped to 50% off.  Lower prices, less selection.  It's an art, really.)

Anyway, when I walked in the mall, I saw a new store, and just froze.

White walls, with cheap white shelving on them.

Fluorescent pink and green posters everywhere saying things like "WIN PRIZES!!!" and "EVERYTHING'S ON SALE!!!"

Products on the shelves and piled on the floor, each with a bright green tag advertising "20% off!"

And if you don't know what the product does, that's ok, because there are TV monitors all over the store showing the products' informercials.  And it isn't even like all the screens are showing the same set of informercials -- no, the "As Seen on TV" store (I am not making this up) runs about 20 different informercials simultaneously.

So, here's you -- surrounded by cheerful employees demonstrating rowing machines and ab crunchers, signs telling you all about the great prices you can get on home fruit dehydrators, and boxes tantalizing you with the offers of a easy fixes in case you happen to spill battery acid on your carpet.

And I bet it's coming to a mall near you ... just in time for the holidays. 

8 comments:

dklars said...

Those have been in the malls here for years now.  Just another way to hawk products that usually don't work at all "As seen on TV."  I have yet to go in one!
~~Kath~~

tammyg22 said...

Truly frightening.  (Perhaps they should've opened in time for Halloween?)

mom23nca said...

When we moved from CA to WA this summer, I laughed my head off when I saw those store in the malls.  

blondepennierae said...

Bosox would LOVE that store.  He once bought a relative one of everything he saw advertised on TV.  It was the most 'creative' gift he could come up with.  LOL  Penie

ravenlark2 said...

Oh no...just what we need...the infomercials invading our malls. I knew I didn't go to the mall for a reason!

-Raven

rgwindland said...

Oh boy - I can't wait, LOL. Rhonda

swibirun said...

We have one of those in near by Pigeon Forge......I've threatened to go there one day just for laughs.  I want to see if they have that spray on hair for balding men:)

Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun

helmswondermom said...

I'll keep my eyes open!
Lori