Ten Things That Aren't Necessarily True About Me

As previously mentioned, there's this meme going around.  It's pretty simple to play.  You find yourself a willing subject and then write up Ten Things That Might Be True about said subject.  I found out about this when Wil (Olddog299) posted the Ten Things Carly Thought Might Be True About Him.  Seemed kinda fun -- a sort of playful way to find out how others perceive you, as well as some generally good journal fodder.  So when Wil asked for a willing subject for him to write Ten Things about, I volunteered.

His list has been up at his journal for awhile -- so now I'll reveal which things are true...

TEN THINGS THAT ARE MIGHT BE TRUE ABOUT NZFORME

1.  Nzforme is addicted to peanut butter

Not true.  I'm addicted to pretzels.  In a pinch, though -- while vacationing in England where they apparently do not have normal pretzels -- I've satisfied my urges with peanut butter filled pretzels.

2.  Nzforme loves to have workers traipsing through her condo with their “plumber's crack” exposed

False again.  I s'pose this might change if I had better-looking workers, but, sadly, most of the guys that have come to do repairs in my condo have not have "trouser cleavage" I've wanted to get a good look at

3.  Nzforme claims at the top of her journal that she is a “35-year-old wussy girl.” That is only partially true.

Wil's right.  I am not 35 anymore, and I'm only partially wussy.  I am, however, a girl.

4.  There once was a photograph on “So This Is A Treadmill” that put Sharon Stone's infamous scene to shame.

I was going to say this was false, until Andrea reminded me of the unfortunate photo of a, er, zorb "giving birth" to me.  No, I won't link to it.  You'll have to find it yourself.

5.  Nzforme enjoys hiking up mountains in the pre-dawn light in order to watch the sun rise.

Maybe?  I've been hiking a total of three whole times, and none of have been pre-dawn.  I've been offered pre-dawn hikes a couple times, and have turned them all down in the interest of sleeping in.

6.  Nzforme is a Deputy District Attorney for the County of Los Angeles, California who specializes in prosecuting child molesters. (Her favorite class in law school was torts and whey.)

Partial credit here, as I'd wanted to be a DDA when I was in law school.  I never got the job (was told I was first on the waiting list, though) and I ended up working for the appellate court instead.  I've helped affirm convictions of child molesters, if that counts.

7.  Nzforme grew up in a large Catholic family with seven sisters and one brother in eastern Connecticut.

Not even close.  Small Jewish family with one sister in suburban Maryland.

8.  Nzforme has a major “thing” about shoes. In fact, she is a distant relative of Imelda Marcos.

The shoe thing is true.  No comment on my relationship to certain exiled wives of former dictators.

9.  Nzforme has a dark obsession she hides from us all and it doesn't involve chocolate, nor shoes. It's way more kinky than that!

I had a great laugh when I read this -- Wil knows that this is true; he actually researched it when I made an off-hand reference.  I hid it plain sight -- Wil was just the only one who followed up.  Sorry to say, though, it isn't that kinky. 

10.  Nzforme's favorite movie is “Earth Girl's Are Easy” because Jeff Goldblum's tongue “makes me hot...”

Uh, no.  Actually, I don't know what disturbs me more -- that Wil thinks I dig "Earth Girls Are Easy" (which I've never seen) or that Andrea said she knows I like Jeff Goldblum.  Where did I pick up this Jeff Goldblum reputation?  I know that I've mentioned several perhaps, uh, nontraditional celebrity crushes over the twenty or so months I've had this journal, but Jeff Goldblum?  I don't think so.

It's actually kinda funny because, what with me being a person of the Jewish persuasion, I've frequently complained (to female friends) that there aren't enough Jewish male hotties working in Hollywood.  I mean, really, who is a nice Jewish girl supposed to drool over these days?  Alan Arkin?

Thanks to Wil for using me as a subject.  I'd be happy to carry on the meme if anyone out there wants me to write Ten Things That Might Be True About Them, although I won't get to it for awhile as (if everything goes according to plan) Sothisisatreadmill is going to turn into a travel journal again real soon.