Adventures in Mis-Marketing, Part Three

Remax, however, is in a class by itself.

See, they don't ask if they can talk to you about taking over your listing.  They say they have a client who is interested in your condo -- and ask who they should talk to about scheduling an appointment. 

Sneaky.  Because, y'know, if you don't have an agent to send them to, then they can volunteer their services.

The third time a Remax agent tried this one, I told him I was showing the place myself, and I'm available tonight.  What time would he like to bring the client by?  He said he'd check with the client, but, you know, the client is really interested in Burbank, whereas I'm in Pasadena, so he can't really promise anything. 

Riiiight.  (Burbank is in the next valley over, and there's a whole other city between the two.  There's no way Burbank and Pasadena are interchangeable.)  He never called back.  What a surprise.

But my absolute favorite is this guy:

Phone rings.  "Hello?"

"Hi.  This is Brad from Remax.  I sent you a marketing plan like your answering machine message said and I was calling to make sure you'd received it."

"No, I haven't received it."  (Skeptical that it was sent, actually, but I admire the fact you actually listened to my message.)

"I'm sorry.  I'll send it right out.  You'll get it tomorrow."

I did not get Brad's marketing plan the next day.

The following morning, however, when I was getting ready for work, I got an overnight mail delivery.  A package.

(A package?  I didn't order anything.)

It's from Brad.  At Remax.  It's large.  Heavy.

I open it up and it's a book.  This book.  A $35 hard-cover book profiling Remax agents across the country (Brad is on page 159!) and sprinkled with motivational messages like, "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better"; "Four things for success:  work and pray, think and believe"; and "Why not go out on a limb, isn't that where the fruit is?"

Brad also included a folder included ads he's listed and testimonials from happy customers.  Of course, Brad did not, in fact, include an individualized marketing plan, as I'd asked.  And (I found this quite puzzling) Brad doesn't even work in Pasadena -- his office, his listings, and all of his testimonials come from Burbank (which, as previously mentioned, is two cities and a mountain pass away).

(Bless him, though -- when Brad called to follow up and I told him I didn't think I'd be hiring him, he actually took 'no' for an answer, wished me luck, and said goodbye.)

I'm sure that there are actually some people out there who would be really impressed by overnight receipt of a hardcover vanity press book which includes the profile of a real estate agent.  I, on the other hand, just feel bad for the trees that had to die for this.