You Never Know What You'll See At Sears

OK.  So, this weekend, I was only supposed to be away for Saturday night.  At the last minute, I thought I'd stay over Sunday night as well.  Which was fine and all (I was staying with my parents) excepting I didn't have any more clothes to wear.

So, Sunday night, I went to the theatre right near a big shopping mall.  And I thought if I got to the theatre early, maybe I could buy some clothes.  Mom was with me, and we got to the theatre a good half hour before the show started.  We drove across the street to the shopping mall, and figured we'd have about fifteen minutes for me to find something to wear for the next day.

We pulled in right near one of the Department Stores -- Sears.  I'd been thinking that I could get one of those tank tops with a built-in bra (thereby saving me from the expense of a new bra as well) and a pair of jeans.  So we enter the store at exactly the wrong side, and have to run through Appliances, Shoes, Accessories, and Men's Wear before we see brightly colored tank tops.

We start feeling up all the tank tops in order to find the ones with the built-in bras.  I grab a few that look like possibilities, and run off in search of jeans.  I find some jeans -- no, wait, those are men's jeans.  I walk a little further and find other jeans.  Start looking for something in general vicinity of my size.  I turn to ask my mom to look for my size and she's gone.

I scan the store.  No mom.

At this point, we've got to be out of the store in about ten minutes.  I haven't tried anything on, and I seem to have misplaced my mother.

I start running back to where I saw her last, and don't see her anywhere.  I see a Fitting Room and debate running in to try the clothes on -- but if I'm going to have to spend ten minutes on a Mom Hunt, the clothes will just have to go unbought.

I run through the aisles again and find her!  We run together back to the Fitting Room.

... where there are now people in every room and a line of about five women waiting to try on their clothes.  I stand at the end of the line, and look at my watch.  We'll never make it.

Mom looks at me and jokingly opens her jacket, like she's offering to shield me from view.  "Why the heck not?" I think.  We move to a corner of the fitting room.  The ladies in line look at us like we're nuts.  I take off my shirt and bra and try on a tank top.  It's awful.  I try on the next.  It's okay.  I try on the third.  It's laughable.  I drop my pants and try on the jeans.  They're passable.  I figure I'll buy the second tank and the jeans.  I dive back into my original attire and we run for the checkstand.

I buy the stuff and we make it to the play with a good five minutes to spare.  (Yay us!)

When we got back from the theatre that night, I got undressed and realized I had put my bra back on backwards.