Thursday, July 22, 2004

Homework: Superpowers!

This week, Scalzi asks us:

Weekend Assignment #16: Create a brand-new Superhero secret identity for yourself, based on your personality and proclivities -- and make sure to list at least one "super power" that relates to a special talent you have. Now, to be clear, this "super power" shouldn't actually be a super power, like the ability to fly or shoot lasers from your eyes (unless you can actually do that). No, we're just talking about naming a "talent" you have, in superhero terms. So, for example, if you're really good at finding bargains, you could say you have Super Shopping Senses -- "Oooh! My shopping sense is tingling! Something in this aisle is on sale!!!!" Like that.

Well, I've always said everyone has a talent...

See, the thing of it is is...  I'm a part-time theatre critic, so I go to a lot of plays.  A lot.  So I often find myself in theatres.  The sort of theatres that have seating for 1000 in the auditorium itself, and seating for, say, six in the ladies' room.

And my friends, family, and other theatre companions have come to recognize that, when intermission rolls around, I stop being mild-mannered NZ, and turn into

(dum-da-da-DUM)

First-in-line-at-the-bathroom-woman.

Yes, it's First-in-line-at-the-bathroom-woman -- able to politely jump over an entire row of theatre patrons still arguing over whether they should grab a drink at the bar; frequently seen fighting her way back into the theatre after successfully emptying her bladder while half the room is still trying to get out to join the line.  Recognized by theatre employees as that fast-moving blur dashing through the lobby before the last note of the first act closer has died down, First-in-line-at-the-bathroom-woman always knows the quickest route to the can and she's not afraid to use it.

 

3 comments:

andreakingme said...

Bwahaha! Well, THIS took me by surprise. I was all prepared to read something theater critic-ish. Heh, no one's going to top this one.

So, do you give lessons? Because me and my wee bladder (and slow poke self) could sure use 'em.

jevanslink said...

Boy did you nail this one.  Very funny.  Mrs. L

annalisa135 said...

LMAO!!!!  You are so incredibly funny!!!  It's no wonder that I love you!!!