This week's homework: Holiday Characters

This week, Scalzi asks us:

>>Weekend Assignment #38: It's the Holidays! Create your own festive Holiday Character and give him, her or it at least one seasonally appropriate magical ability (or use its native traits and skills to save the holiday season).<<

To which request, I cheerfully supply:

Toasty, Burny, Crispy, Flamey, Blazey, Scorchy, Smoldery and Mendel -- the Hanukkah Fire Safety Bears!

They're cute!  They're cuddly!  They're available at Temple Gift Shops near you!

And they're starring in their Very Own Animated Holiday Special!

Tune in to the ABC Family Channel (at 8:00/7:00 central & mountain) on the first night of Hanukkah to see what happens when the Goldberg family leaves their lit menorah unattended.  When Puffball, their curious kitten, knocks the menorah to the ground, scattering lit candles everywhere, little Carol Goldberg's collection of stuffed animal bears magically come to life and save the day!

Be sure to stay tuned for an important discussion of fire safety tips from Crispy -- followed by a great big Hanukkah Bear Hanukkah Party!  (YAY!)

The makers of the Hanukkah bears have issued the following statement in response to certain recent allegations in the press.  "We have no comment on the sexual orientation of 'Flamey.'  All viewers are invited to interpret Flamey's hug with Smoldery in their own way."