Thursday, May 3, 2007

I Can't Win

As you may recall, I've had problems with getting UPS (and FedEx, for that matter) to deliver stuff to me at my condo.

So, with all the stuff I ordered online lately, I figured I'd outsmart them and have this stuff shipped to my office.  I've had stuff shipped to my office for years, with no problem.

Here's what you need to know about my office.  I work for the Court of Appeal.  We are in a two-towered building with various state offices in it.  The Court of Appeal occupies several floors in both towers.  I work on the fourth floor of the North tower.  There is only Court of Appeal on the fourth floor of the North tower.  Take the elevator up to the 4th floor of the North tower, and you'll be in Court of Appeal Land.

Now, technically, my office has a number.  I know this because it has been written in black magic marker on the inside of my door jamb.  I used to direct packages to myself to be sent to this room number.  I got a call from the dudes in the mail room asking me to stop doing this, as the number meant nothing to them, and they preferred the whole "4th floor, North tower" designation -- because then they'd know which receptionist to leave my packages with.

OK.  So.  I order stuff online and I want it sent to me.  Here is what my address should look like:

Court of Appeal
Street Address, 4th Flr, N. Twr.
City, State, Zip

I have a problem.  The website I'm ordering from won't let me fit the whole street address, plus the "4th Flr, N. Twr." thing on one line.  But they don't have a fifth line for me to use.  So I have a choice.  I can delete the "4th Flr., N. Twr" and just have this thing sent to me at the "Court of Appeal."  Or, I can delete the "Court of Appeal" bit and have it sent to the 4th Floor, N. Tower of the building.  I go with the latter.  Because, I figure, the "Court of Appeal" can be ANYWHERE in the building, but the 4th Floor, North Tower is, by definition, Court of Appeal.

My parcel does not arrive.

I get a phone call from UPS.  They leave a message (on my work phone) telling me they can't deliver the parcel without a suite number or apartment number.  I call them back.  I explain that there is no apartment number or suite number.  They ask for the name of the business.  I cheerfully tell them it's the Court of Appeal.  And then she says...

"I can't just deliver to the Court of Appeal.  Can you give me a floor number?"

I politely point out that I had the damn thing addressed to the FOURTH FLOOR of the NORTH TOWER.

She then asks for a phone number of the business.

I say there is no phone number for the court in general; she says she'll be happy to take my office phone number.

Yeah, that would be the phone number UPS already HAS, seeing as they called me on it and left a message.  I give her the number again, without the faintest trace of irritation in my voice.

They deliver the parcel the next day.  At the same time, I receive a postcard from UPS (mailed to the same address I'd originally given them for the package) which tells me to call UPS since they can't deliver my package because the address isn't specific enough.


1 comment:

helmswondermom said...

Thank you for the laugh!