No, really.
If you look back on my dating history, many of the dates I've been on have run into some sort of, oh, difficulty. I'm not just talking about when the guy makes a big deal about holding our tickets and then proceeds to lose them -- heck, that can happen to anyone. I'm talking about ... well ... fire.
You might not be aware of the fact that microwave popcorn can catch fire. I mean, yeah, sure, the popcorn can BURN, we all know that. But did you know that you can get actual flames when you open the microwave door? See, the popcorn comes in a BAG, that's made of PAPER, which is FLAMMABLE. I learned this on my very first date ever. When my 14-year-old date wanted to impress me with his microwave-operating skills.
And, amazingly, this was NOT the last time I've had a date who set fire to the food. Here's a tip: if you have one of them ovens which you have to leave open when you broil something, there's probably a really good reason for it. No, the lamb chops weren't burnt, silly -- the lamb chops were ON FIRE.
I wish I knew what it was about me that brings out astonishingly bad cooking in men. But, I've gotta say that, over the years, I've grown increasingly wary when I'm invited over for dinner. Um, couldn't we go out instead?
2 comments:
For shame, NZ! You are holding out on us. I want DETAILS so this wee giggle will turn into those big belly laughs that feel so awful darn good.
Yes Yes I have to know the details about all of this microwave fire business. Perhaps it is that the men are so smitten with you that they forget there is something even in the microwave. **Melissa**
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