Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Wuss of the First Order

Well, there seem to be NUMEROUS reasons we couldn't spin the teacups.  Discovered another one when I went to the gym today.

My gym routine (and, when I use the word "routine," that may give you the false impression that I actually hit the gym on a regular basis these days) generally involves a big pile of cardio (on the Elliptical machine) and maybe, if I'm feeling up to it, some short sets on some of the machines.  If I want to do the Whole Complete Workout, I'll drop by the weight room for a moment.

So, today, I do the Elliptical thing, and I do some of the machines.  I've recently started going to a gym that has those machines that figure out how much resistance to use all by themselves.  I like those machines, because I can never remember how much weight I use on each machine. 

So, I do my little circuit.  I do some of the leg machines.  And then I sit down at the "arm curl" machine.  I ask the machine to set the weights for me.  It says (I paraphrase), "OK, do a test rep."  

I can't.

I pull that sucker with all my might, and it doesn't move.

I decide, instead, to set the weights myself.  I tell the machine that's my plan.

The machine says, "All righty.  How much would you like?"

I say, "How's about one pound?"

It says, "The minimum for the machine is five pounds."

I say, "OK, fine.  Five pounds it is."

It says, "Great.  Do a rep."

I pull the weight.  It pulls.  I push it back down.  It pushes back down.

It says, "OK, eleven more.  Just like that."

I pull on the weight.  It doesn't move.  I grunt.  I groan.  I pull.  It remains.

The machine is still looking at me with, "C'mon.  Eleven more reps. Pull the weight.  I'm waiting."

I keep trying.  Nothing happens.  The machine ultimately says (and this bit I do not paraphrase), "CONGRATULATIONS!"

(Really?  What did I win?)

"Total weight lifted:  Five pounds.  Would you like to do another set?"

I walk away from the machine, somewhat dejected. 

I'm about to leave the gym when a good song comes on my ipod (yes, I know -- it's MY ipod -- you'd think it would ONLY play songs I consider to be good ones.  But some are better than others) -- so I think, well, I'll go into the weight room and try some arm curls with free weights.  I take three whole pounds in each arm and do curls.

The first set is easy.  The second, not so much.

Yes.  I did 24 arm curls with 3 whole pounds in each hand, and my arms are KILLING ME.  I question whether I'll be able to lift a freakin' pen at work tomorrow.

No wonder I couldn't spin the teacup.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I go to the gym and do the arm exercises (I don't do free weights there, but I have some at home--I've got 3 pounds and 5 pounds and can't imagine upping that), I never push myself when it comes to weight. I push myself when it comes to reps. I'd much rather do two sets of 20 at 5 pounds than one set at 15 pounds.

So. Were you able to lift that pen or what?!

Anonymous said...

Well, I must agree.......Wuss of the First Order.   LOL    Here's an idea to help you build up very very slowly.....and i actually think you'll like this idea.......use Jasmine as the weight.  put her in your hands and lift her up and down doing curls  (wait, i can't finish this thought......can't stop laughing.....can't breathe....imagining you lifting your cat up and down.....her looking at you like you're nuts......LMAO....so friggin funny!!!!)    

OMG, i haven't laughed that hard in so long.  My daughter was standing here and as the laughing increased, she ducked out of the room and peaked back in, at least 3X.  I think i scared her.   OMG, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard.  WHEW!!!!!  Deep breaths............

Anonymous said...

i made the mistake to read my comment again, and the laughing started again....my daughter actually went in her room and shut the door!!!!!!!  ROFL.

kisses to sweet jasmine.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Anna, I once saw something on Cat Aerobics.  (Musta been on The Daily Show.)  Some people actually DO this.  The mind truly boggles.  (And they must have VERY patient cats.)  Even if it weren't astonishingly silly, I couldn't do it anyway since Jasmine weighs NINE POUNDS, which is clearly out of my range.

Andrea -- today was ... well, there'll be an entry later tonight, and I'll fill you all in.

Anonymous said...

I curl my 12-lb cat.  You have to use both hands, or it's just not comfortable for them.  She lets me do it a few times before squirming.