Thursday, October 9, 2003

Ooo. A request!

Our Unhinged friend Andrea suggests writing a movie review.  Now, normally, I'm all over requests.  Especially when they come from someone like Andrea, whose journal is AOL's Top Pick for today.  (Go her!)  But this is a rather difficult request to fulfill.  See reviewing movies is dangerously close to some writing I do in the Real World, and I try to keep the journal Far, Far Away from Real World writing.  A concept which is, in itself, kinda funny, because one of the reasons I took up reviewing was to try a different kind of writing from what I do at my Day Job.  To sum up -- three types of writing: Day Job, Real World Reviewing, and Journal.  And never the three shall meet.

So, reluctantly, I have to turn down Andrea's invitation.

Then again.  Perhaps I can try an unusual format for a movie review.  That way, I'd be doing Experimental Journal-type writing, while still reviewing a film.  Sounds like a challenge to me.  For instance, let's see exactly how short I can make a review, and still make it work.  I'll just paw through the list of movies I saw this summer and try to do shorter and shorter reviews with each successive film. k?

Movie:  X2:  X-Men United

Form:  Iambic Pentameter

You'd think I'd just see Hugh on screen and stare

He just is not sexy with stupid hair.

Movie:  Seabiscuit

Form:  Haiku

Ooo!  Watch the horse race!

The music swells joyously

Wonder if he'll win.

Movie: Matrix Reloaded

Form:  Ten word movie review

Never thought I'd say this but: too many Hugo Weavings

Movie: T3:  Rise of the Machines

Form:  Five word movie review

Get to the war already!

Movie:  The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Form:  Three word movie review

Intelligent comic oversimplified.

Movie:  Spellbound.

Form:  Two word movie review

Revealing documentary

Movie:  Pirates of the Caribbean:  Curse of the Black Pearl

Form:  One word movie review

Arrrrr!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha..those are the best reviews ever! Good job! =)

Anonymous said...

Andrea's sardonic, tongue-in-cheek, two-word response:

Mold-breaker.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, I can't edit this right now without losing the formatting, but, upon reflection, I think I missed the boat with the last one. I think it should read: "Arrrr!"

Anonymous said...

I don't know what I'm doing back here. I really should be working. Or writing my own movie review.

Anyway, what IS it you do in Real Life that's so close to review writing? You've got me all curious now. Feel free to give me the generic definition.

Oh, I agree about the Arrrrrr!

Anonymous said...

Ah, didn't mean to be all mysterious about it. I'm a (part-time) theatre critic.

Anonymous said...

Subject: Oooo, a request
Form: Six-Sentence Review

Snorted. Hard. Coffee. Up. My. Nose.