Wednesday, January 14, 2004

There Oughtta Be A Law

- If you are driving a Corvette, you are forbidden from driving less than the speed limit.

- Unless specially requested for a special occasion, no hair stylist is permitted to put your hair in a style you can not easily recreate in less than five minutes every morning.

- No gym can charge a "sign-up fee," "membership fee," "initiation fee," or any fee other than monthly dues for just using the facilities.

- My office is mandated to get rid of that limit on non-work-related internet usage.

- Peter Jackson will receive the Best Director Oscar, and the room will give him a standing ovation, dammit.

- The oil light on your car can only go on when you should ACTUALLY change your oil, and not according to Jiffy Lube's service schedule.

- The workday may not begin until "ten, ten-thirty."

Jasmine has asked me to add: wet food every day, and more of them little mice for everyone.

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