Bridesmaid Tips

I’ve been a bridesmaid or maid of honor five times now. Thought I’d compile a few little tips I’ve picked up along the way. (I’m not mentioning these because any of this stuff went wrong at Peggy’s wedding. On the contrary, I thought we avoided most of the common bridesmaid pitfalls. Well, with the exception of the last one.)

1. It ain’t your wedding. This means that you wear the orange taffeta dress with the big bow on the butt, you put your hair in the unattractive french twist, and you wear the bright red lipstick – and you smile about it, dammit. It isn’t about whether you look good; it’s about whether you look the way the bride wants you to look. If it’s any consolation, nobody is looking at you anyway.

2. Bring extra everything. Your fellow bridesmaids might forget: pantyhose, slips, lipstick, mascara and breakfast. Bring your own, and bring enough for them. Also, bring some of that gum that doubles as toothpaste so you all can have minty fresh breath without mussing your lipstick.

3. It’s all about the bride. Y’know how you’ll sometimes hear about some cyclist in the Tour de France giving his bike to a teammate so the teammate can continue on to win?  That’s you. Be prepared to give the bride anything you might have about your person so that she can make it to the finish line. (This can include:   jewelry, shoes, kleenex, hairpins, sewing kit and – at one wedding I attended – electrical tape.)

4. The emotionally stable bride is a rarity. Your bride might be weepy, snippy, panicky, twittery, or any of the other dwarves. Do what you can to help her appear calm, if obtaining actual calmness is out of the question.

5. Make nice with the rest of the bridesmaids. You’ll probably be getting nekkid in a very small room with all the other women, so you might as well be on friendly terms with them.

6. If you’re sitting at the end of a long head table, try to start the “wave.”

And, the lesson I learned at Peggy’s wedding

7. If you’re making a toast at the reception, you might find yourself holding a microphone and your notes. It would be a good idea if you free up a hand to actually raise a glass in honor of the bride and groom.