Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Nerdy Lawyer Rant (3 of 4)

So THEN, Jerk gets on the stand and testifies that, yes, he did virtually experience sex with the victim through the nanos, and he realized it was wrong, and he was really, really sorry -- and the whole reason he gave flowers to the victim the next day was to apologize.

I'm now screaming at the television set. All Sympathetic Hero Lawyer has to do to totally devastate this jerk's defense is to cross-examine him on, "wow -- you felt so guilty about it you watched the tape thirty times?" I mean, they had him. "You felt really bad about it, huh? Did you feel bad enough to destroy the tape? Did you feel bad when you watched it the second time? Feel just as bad the third time? What about the twentieth? Still wracked with guilt?"

But, no -- nothing. Sympathetic Hero Lawyer keeps the fact the tape was watched 30 times to himself. It's only after a "Dude, we're gonna lose the case" discussion with Drop-Dead Gorgeous Young Female Lawyer that Sympathetic Hero Lawyer realizes he has to use the tape in order to win -- and then he uses the tape in the full-blown, you-could-see-this-coming-a-mile-away way of hooking up everyone in the courtroom to little receivers and letting the jury experience exactly what the Jerk experienced. (Really -- am I the only one having "Strange Days" flashbacks at this point?)

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