Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Queer Eye for that Strider Guy (1 of 3)

Peg is right, Viggo doesn't meet everything on the list.  Come to think of it, neither does Aragon as played by Viggo who, really, is the more attractive of the two.  But we can take care of that...

The setting:  A rudimentary campsite, somewhere in Middle Earth

The lush sweeping soundtrack with vaguely Celtic overtones is suddenly interrupted by a beat-box and a woman wailing, "All things just keep getting better..."

Five well-groomed guys in pull up in a black SUV.  We hear them muttering...

Ted:  OK, here's our straight guy.  Aragorn, son of Arathorn.  Says here he has a girlfriend, way back in Rivendell.  And, Kyan, you've got your work cut out for you - says here he hasn't showered in weeks!

The SUV stops.  The five guys get out and attack the campsite, such as it is.  Aragorn stands in the center of it, a somewhat bemused expression on his face.

Carson:  OK, now, let's talk about wardrobe.  Oh!  This cloak is extremely well-made.  High quality fabric.  But it looks like you've slept in it!  We've got to take better care of our couture.  Now, I want you to use this wooden hanger and hang it on a nearby tree when you're not wearing it, ok?   [He demonstrates.  Eyes open on the Ent, with a cloak hanging from his nose.  Clearly unimpressed.]  Now, go over and talk to Kyan about grooming while I figure out what to do with all this leather.

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